Saturday Silliness

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw

her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak

from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially

my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some

deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we

can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't

like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife

of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

 

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like

they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is

that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...

Oh my God, what have I just said?"

 

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All Hunters Know This:

 

Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers

 

 

It's a "guy" thing---regardless of species!

 

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WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?'

 

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VIRUS WARNING

A VIRUS is going round called

 

HOUSEWORK!!!!

 

If you feel the need to start housework.

Stop immediately.

This virus wipes out your social life.

If you should come in contact

With housework go straight

To the nearest store &

Buy the only known antidote

Which is called   CHOCOLATE.

           

 

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I Fish

After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing
every problem they had ever had in the years they had been married. On
and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,
feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs
she had endured.

Finally, after allowing this for a sufficient length of time, the
therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking the wife to
stand, he embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband
watched - with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down
as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said,
"This is what your wife needs at least 3 times a week. Can you do this?"

"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and
Wednesdays, but on
Fridays, I fish."

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EVA