Saturday, October 13, 2012

Saturday Silliness

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1.He called everyone brother
2.He liked Gospel
3.He didn't get a fair trial

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1.He went into His Father's business
2.He lived at home until he was 33
3.He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1.He talked with His hands
2.He had wine with His meals
3.He used olive oil

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1.He never cut His hair
2.He walked around barefoot all the time
3.He started a new religion

But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1.He was at peace with nature
2.He ate a lot of fish
3.He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1.He never got married..
2.He was always telling stories.
3.He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1.He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2.He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3.And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do!

Can I get an AMEN!!
It all began with an iPhone...March was when their son celebrated his 17th birthday, and they got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?


They celebrated his birthday in July, and his wife made him very happy when she bought him an iPad.

Their daughter's birthday was in August so they got her an iPod Touch.

His wife celebrated her birthday in September so he got her an iRon.


It was around then that the fight started..

What his wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.  This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

He should be out of the hospital next week!!

His comment:   iHurt!
Wish For Eternal Life 

 I met a fairy who said she would grant me one wish.

 Immediately I said, "I want to live forever."

 "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

 "OK," I said, "Then, I want to die AFTER Congress gets its head out of its ass!"

 "You CRAFTY bitch," said the fairy.


Stephen Hayes said...

A fairy that swears? Finally a fairy I can get behind.

River said...

Love the fairy!

Love the Jesus arguments too, but I'm going to send you an email on that one.

Brian Miller said...

haha...i think she is pretty safe in the last...and think i might send that first one to my pastor...he will get a kick out of it...

Just Keepin It Real, Folks! said...

AMEN SISTER on the Jesus joke!!!

Pat said...

Love the Jesus joke!

As far as the "iRon" joke - I get it! I've told Jim never to buy me a present that plugs in!

Jeannine Breton said...

AMEN ! Goog ones.....

Jeannine Breton said...

oops. good..

Unknown Mami said...

I think Jesus was Mexican and for one reason alone. How many non-Mexicans named Jesús do you know? I rest my case!

rosaria williams said...

I stopped reading after the Jesus bit, too hilarious to continue on.