Saturday, November 10, 2012

Saturday Silliness

Here's one from the archives about a group of FBI agents holed up in a psychiatric
hospital who attempt to order pizza delivery from an incredulous delivery man.

Confirmed as a true story at:

FBI agents conducted a "search and seizure" at the Southwood Psychiatric Hospital
in San Diego, which was under investigation for medical insurance fraud. After hours
of poring over many rooms of financial records, some sixty FBI agents worked up quite
an appetite.

The case agent in charge of the investigation called a local pizza parlor with delivery
service to order a quick dinner for his colleagues.  The following telephone conversation
took place:

Agent: Hello. I would like to order nineteen large pizzas and sixty-seven cans of soda.

Pizza man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: To the Southwood Psychiatric Hospital.

Pizza man: To the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

Pizza man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have
them locked. You'll have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver
the pizzas.

Pizza man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza man: And you're over at Southwood?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza man: And everyone at Southwood is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

Pizza man: How are you going to pay for this?

Agent: I have my check book right here.

Pizza man: And you are all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right, everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the
pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza man: I don't think so. "Click"



Better than a Flu Shot!
Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.  She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea...As he sat facing her old Hammond organ,the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated. of all
things,a condom!

When she returned w
ith tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?
Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago, and I found this little package on the ground.  The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent the spread of disease.  Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!’



Stephen Hayes said...

The moral here---A condom on the organ beats a flu shot.

River said...

Oh! Dear old Miss Beatrice!
And the lady's yearly physical had me laughing too.
I'm not at all surprised by the pizza delivery boy's refusal to deliver.

Brian Miller said...

hahahahaha...i absolutely love the FBI one....ha...i will be telling that one all day....too funny eva....happy saturday to you!

Jenny said...

HHHMMMM! that is a cheap way to prevent the flu!!!!
good ones,Eva.

Alessandra said...

I'm rolling over here, this is too funny. THe FBI one was good, but the lady in for her physical is the best. Miss Beatrice is way up there to! :)

Mary | Deep South Dish said...

Oh my goodness! Thanks again for the chuckle.

Sue said...

2nd and 4th my favorites. Got a good laugh out of both!


PS. I could see the FBI one coming.