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Saturday, December 1, 2012

Saturday Silliness

The Raffle


While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Billy Bob won 1st place;
a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize; a toilet brush.

 About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"

 Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush? "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."

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The Movie Usher and the Seat-Hog


An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theater.  When the
usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man,    "Sorry sir, but you're 
only allowed one seat."

The old man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager."   Once again, the old
man just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of  them tried repeatedly to get the old disheveled man
to move, but with no success. Finally they summoned the police.

The officer surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where ya from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle, Fred replied, "The balcony."*


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It's a Case of Semantics



Boudreaux and Thibodeaux worked together in St. John's Parish and both were laid off, so they went 
to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Boudreaux answered, "Panty Stitcher. 
I sew da elastic onto ladies cotton panties and t’ongs."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher on his computer and finding it classified as unskilled labor, 
he gave him $80 a week unemployment pay.

Thibodeaux was next and when asked his occupation replied, "Diesel fitter." Since diesel fitter 
was a skilled job, the clerk gave Thibodeaux $160 a week.

When Boudreaux found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his 
friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, "Panty Stitcher's are 
unskilled and Diesel Fitters are skilled labor."

"What skill?" yelled Boudreaux. "I sew da elastic on da panties and the t’ongs. Thibodeaux puts 
dem over his head and says:  "Yep, diesel fitter!"


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New Word to be added to the Dictionary.


 "Exhaustipated"

 Here is a new word to add to your vocabulary.  It will be especially useful to senior folks!

 Exhaustipated: Just too tired to give a sh*t.

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9 comments:

Stephen Hayes said...

He was from the balcony! Love it.

Empty Nest Insider said...

These are all good, but my favorite is the diesel fitter. I am frequently "exhaustipated," and know many others who feel the same way!
Julie

Brian Miller said...

oh my goodness...that first one made my butt hurt....shivers....smiles...happy saturday

R. J. said...

Love the silliness. I need more silliness in my life. Exhaustipated sounds like something my granddaughter would say--good word.

Jenny said...

Everyone should laugh often.....life is too short! Good ones, Eva

Terri Sonoda said...

Fun Saturday stuff, as usual! Loved that one about the old man in the movie. Didn't see that ending coming. LOL
Have a super weekend, my friend! XOXOs

fishducky said...

FUNNY, FUNNY & oh, yes--FUNNY!!

River said...

The last one is the best one, but I had to feel sorry for poor Bubba in the first one. Ouch!

Unknown Mami said...

Oh the toilet brush would save money, but OUCH!