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Saturday, December 8, 2012

Saturday Silliness



Sleeping in the Barn
  
A lawyer and two friends, a rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had
car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night
with a farmer.
  
The farmer said, "There might be a problem; you see, I only
have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the
barn."
  
"No problem," chimed the rabbi. "My people wandered in the
desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the
barn for an evening."
  
With that, he departed to the barn and the others bedded
down for the night.
  
Moments later, a knock was heard at the door, and the farmer
opened it. There stood the rabbi from the barn.
  
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
  
He replied, "I'm grateful to you, but I can't sleep in the
barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that
is an unclean animal."
  
His Hindu friend agreed to swap places with him. But a few
minutes later, the same scene recurred. There was a knock on
the door.
  
"What's wrong now?" the farmer asked.
  
The Hindu holy man replied, "I too am grateful for your
helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn, and in my
country cows are considered sacred. I can't sleep on holy
ground!"
  
Well, that left only the lawyer to make the change. He
grumbled and complained, but he went out to the barn.
  
Moments later, there was another knock on the farmer's door.
  


 




Frustrated and tired, the farm-er opened the door, and there
stood ... the pig and the cow.

*****************




SENIOR EYE EXAM



Do you need glasses?? Look carefully at the picture below.


Did you see the bare butt
of the girl in the background?  If you did see that in the picture,
you need to have your Eyes checked,
as that is the armpit of the girl
holding the  the camera.
My appointment is at 2pm tomorrow
I'M STILL VERY WORRIED ABOUT YOU
*************************
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. 
 
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. 
The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. 
 
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple 
and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. 
 
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire 
day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this 
system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." 
 
"And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. 
 
"Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two  
million dollars."  
**************
A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an 
expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present 
instead of making you and dad shop for me." The daughter nods in agreement. "And 
I think this fur coat would be perfect too." 
 
The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so 
that you can have this." 
 
"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a 
couple of weeks.

**********************

EVA

10 comments:

River said...

Oh the poor cow and pig, having to leave their comfy beds because of some lawyer!

The one about the poor man polishing apples for a month, then inheriting $2million....if I had $2million and my kids were down to their last dollar, I'd help them out, I wouldn't make them wait until I died, that seems cruel to me.

Laurie Kolp said...

Hahaha... thanks for the entertainment, Eva. Have a great day!

Brian Miller said...

ha i did a double take at the butt....smiles....have a wonderful saturday eva

Jenny said...

Ha, ha.....funny!At least when the weather is LOUSY....I know I can laugh on such a day.......

fishducky said...

I have to admit it took some time for me to see that the bare butt WASN'T a butt!!

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Gail said...

Yes, I saw the butt, appointment will be made first thing Monday.

I love how you make me smile. It certainly is a pleasure.

Xae said...

Hi Eva,
This is such a fun read...I will come back and stalk your posts to get updated :D

Sue said...

That first one cracked me up!

=)

Pat said...

I saw the naked butt first thing! Yikes!

Ah, to have rich relatives! Wouldn't that be nice?