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Sunday, April 29, 2012

Silent Sunday



(photo of Abby by Chris George)

EVA

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Saturday Silliness


Senior Dating
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking:

Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date.  I know you

went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him
before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you.  He shows up at my apartment punctually at

7PM, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me
such beautiful flowers!  Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a
luxury car -- a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.  Then he takes
me out for dinner -- a marvelous dinner -- lobster, champagne, dessert,
and after-dinner drinks.  Then we go see a show. Let me tell you,
Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure!  So then we
are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL.
Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way
with me twice!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . . so you are telling me I shouldn't

go out with him! ?"

Edna: "No, no -- I'm just saying, wear an old dress "


*****************************


  GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her. 


*****************************

Dog For Sale

Whether you own a dog or not, you must appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her dog. Look at the picture and then read the sales pitch below.
Dog For Sale . Free to good home. Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed Jethro anymore, as there are no more drug pushers, thieves, murderers, or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat. Most of them knew Jethro only by his Chinese street name, Ho Lee Schitt."
 *************************

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in Calgary from the old country,
and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in Canada , we might as well do as the Canadians do."


As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yelling, "Hot Dogs, get your dogs here,"and they both walk towards the hot dog cart.

"Two dogs, please!," says one. 


The vendor is very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over.  Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'  The mother superior is first to open hers.  She begins to blush, and then staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and in a soft brogue whispers...

"What part did you get?"

****************************

EVA

Friday, April 27, 2012

Friday Fiction: Welcome to Singles NIght, Chapter 12

(A word of caution: this fiction series may occasionally stray from a PG-13 rating to an R rating. Proceed at your own risk!)

If you missed chapter 11, click here.

If this is your first visit and you want to start at chapter 1, click here. 


              It was 8:00 on Friday night, and Woody’s crew were preparing for the evening’s dance.  Patty and the Sidewinders were setting up their stage; Corrine and Brenda were dividing up the ice, Brad had the buffer shining up the floor, and Leo was outside picking up a few cans and bottles that had been left in the parking lot.  As Woody set up the cash registers for admissions and concessions, he couldn’t help but wonder if the strawberry blonde he now knew as Sandy would be coming tonight. 

              Woody didn’t know if she was a regular; he’d never noticed her before last Friday night.  And he might not have thought about her again if he hadn’t run into her at the Exxon station.  She was very attractive in the pale green business suit she’d been wearing as she pumped gas into her Volkswagen.  Probably on her way home from work, he thought.  From the look on her face at the time, she didn’t even remember him until he introduced himself again.  Most of the women patrons of the Connections approached him when they saw him in town, eager to flirt.  Not this girl.  She seemed totally unimpressed.  That was not a circumstance to which he was accustomed.

          As the crowd began to settle in at their tables, Woody scanned faces, looking for the strawberry blonde with the smile he remembered.  When he had just about decided that she was a no-show, he spotted her.  Wearing an emerald green t-shirt and black slacks, Sandy was buying her admission ticket.  With her were two other women, and the three of them were laughing at a shared joke as they entered the dance hall carrying a picnic cooler.  After some discussion, they picked a table on the left hand side of the dance floor, placed the cooler on the table, and settled into chairs, still grinning from whatever had caused them to laugh when they entered.

          Patty and the Sidewinders were on stage, and when the lights dimmed a bit, they began playing “I Love the Night Life” and the disco lovers streamed onto the dance floor.   That Patty could give Alicia Bridges a run for her money, thought Woody, as he involuntarily began tapping his foot in time with the beat.  Country Connections was lucky to have a vocalist of Patty’s caliber, even if she wouldn’t give him the time of day, Woody realized, as he watched the dancers dipping and swirling with the music.

          “What the heck is the difference between Disco and the old jitterbug?” Woody asked Brad, who had appeared next to him.

          “Looks the same to me,” answered Brad.  “I think it’s just the jitterbug slowed down a bit.”

           “You’re probably right.  Now that I think about it, the old ‘Rock Around the Clock’ we used to dance to definitely had a quicker pace!”  Woody glanced once more at Sandy’s table where she and her friends were laughing and chatting and then followed Brad to the entrance to Country Connections.  Cars were still pulling into the parking lot and Leo was busy directing the drivers into parking spots that would best utilize the available space.

          “We need to cut down some of the trees over there and expand our parking area,” observed Brad.  “We could accommodate another 40 or more cars.”

          Woody shook his head.  “Can’t do it.  Those trees serve as a buffer between us and the neighboring houses.  Chop those down, and we’ll have the residents of that neighborhood clamoring to get us closed down for being a noise nuisance.  Right now, those trees block enough of the racket to keep the neighbors happy.”

            “You know, Boss, when I see you all goofy-eyed over that redheaded singer, I forget how smart you really are,” teased Brad.

            “Well, that’s all over; she shot me down,” Woody responded.  “It seems she already has a man in her life.”

            “No kidding?  Wow, I’m sorry, but at least you can focus on this place again.  No more distraction.”

            “I never lost focus,” grumbled Woody.  “I just thought she was a looker, that’s all.”

           “That, she is,” agreed Brad with a grin.

            “How about if you go over and help Leo in the parking lot, instead of harassing me?  At least there you can be helpful!” suggested Woody, with an attempt at gruffness.

            “Sure thing, Boss!” answered Brad, stifling a grin as he headed out the door.

            Watching the man stride over to where Leo was working, Woody Stackhouse thought to himself that he was lucky to have Brad on the payroll. More than just an employee, the man was a trusted friend.  During those years when Heather was so sick, Brad had been there.  He was always ready to listen when Woody needed to vent his frustration; it had been hell to watch his wife decline in the throes of cancer, and he’d had to let it out somewhere.  And when Heather finally lost the battle, it was Brad who’d helped him through that, too.  Not too many friends would have hung in there when he was so depressed it was an effort to even get out of bed in the morning.  But Brad had stood by him, and finally had single-handedly dragged him out of the dumps and back into life.

(to be continued.)

EVA

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Life is to Short to Stress Out!




If I had a routine, my house might be clean;
The fridge would be neat, full of good things to eat,
But that's not the reality that is me.
I leave things to chance, fly by the seat of my pants.


I won't let myself stress if my house is a mess.
On the couch I'll recline with my vodka and lime,
Watch a Celtics game, (I know the players by name),,
Glad though I didn't get wealth, I do have my health!


Life is to short to stress out a lot
About things that matter so little;
No need to slave all the way to your grave,
More important to savor each day's unique flavor!

An original poem by Eva Gallant

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Silent Sunday

Birthday cake for an airgun battle birthday party.


The soldiers; some still with camo face paint.

EVA

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Saturday Silliness




The Polite Way

During one of her daily classes, a college teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:  "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "'Just a minute I have to go pee.'"

The teacher responded by saying:  "That would be rude and impolite.  What about you, Sherman, how would you  say it?"

Sherman said:
"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And how about you Johnny, can you use your brain for once and tell us what you would say?"

Johnny said:  "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
 
The teacher fainted.
 
*****************
 
 
 
 
Betting on Daisy to Win
 
 
A man sat quietly reading his morning paper one Sunday morning. Suddenly, he is
knocked almost senseless by his wife, who stands behind him holding a frying pan
in hand.

Man: "What was that for?"

Wife: "Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with "Daisy" written on
it?"

Man: "Oh honey, don't you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races?
Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on."

The wife was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him.

Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is
bonked on the head.

Man: "What's that for this time?"

Wife: "Your horse called."
***********************
 
 
 
 
 
 
GARY IS IN THE HOSPITAL
 

Who in the hell is Gary?

Well Gary is the guy who gets home late one night and Marilyn his wife, says "Where the hell have you been?"

Gary replies "I was out getting a tattoo!"

"A tattoo"? She frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates" he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking"? She said, shaking her head in disgust. "Why on earth would a Certified Public Accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Gary is in the Vancouver General Hospital, Critical Care Unit, Room 233
***********************************
 
 
 

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him.
They believed he practiced magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the funeral.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.
And I know he won't ask for directions."
***********************************
EVA

Friday, April 20, 2012

Friday Fiction: Welcome to Singles Night, Chapter 11

(A word of caution: this fiction series may occasionally stray from a PG-13 rating to an R rating. Proceed at your own risk!)

If you missed chapter 10, click here.

If this is your first visit and you want to start at chapter 1, click here. 

          The remainder of the weekend passed quietly for Sandy.  She didn’t see or hear from Ginger and assumed she was probably hung over and feeling a little embarrassed about Country Connections fiasco.  Knowing she would see her at work on Monday, Sandy decided to leave Ginger to her own devices until then.  “I know if it were me, I’d be embarrassed at my own stupidity,” she thought.
          Monday morning proved her wrong.  Ginger showed up at the office as bubbly and perky as usual, as though she hadn’t a care in the world.  When they actually had a chance to chat at lunch, Sandy asked her friend how she was feeling about things.
          “About what things?” Ginger asked with a puzzled look.
          “About the fact that you left Country Connections drunk with some guy who passed out on top of you, and you had to walk back to town at 3:00 a.m.
          “Oh, that.  Shit happens,” Ginger retorted, “and I wasn’t that drunk.”
           “You were beginning to slur your words, and he was staggering, for Pete’s sake.”  Sandy was getting a little frustrated with her friend.
          “If he hadn’t passed out, we probably would have had a good time,” Ginger added.
          “Or, he might have murdered you and dumped your body in a swamp!”  Sandy couldn’t believe Ginger was defending her behavior.
          “Now you’re being ridiculous!  No way anything like that would have happened.  He was harmless—just horny and a little too high on hops.” 
          “I hope you’re right.  I would have hated for you to be the Monday morning headline in the Press Herald,” Sandy said.  “I would never have been able to forgive myself for letting you leave with him.”
          “Hold on, there, girlfriend!  You are not responsible for me.  I take care of myself and expect you to do the same.  No way to I expect you to play “housemother” and tell me what I can and can’t do.”
          “Okay.  Whatever you say,” responded Sandy, quietly.  She knew it wouldn’t do any good to point out to her friend that she’d been the one who called Sandy at 3 in the morning in tears.  Ginger was defensive and Sandy didn’t want to make the situation worse between the two of them.  She decided to change the subject, and the two friends chatted about work and their kids for the rest of their lunch break. 
          When she returned to her office, Sandy thought about what Ginger had said.  Maybe it was her “small town” upbringing, where people looked out for each other that influenced her thinking.  Ginger was more of an independent ‘city girl’ and was used to taking care of herself.  She obviously resented Sandy’s concern and saw it as interference, so maybe it would be best if in the future, she left Ginger to her own devices, and let her make her own decisions.
            After work, on her way to pick up Kim and Danny at their after school sitter’s, Sandy pulled in to the Exxon station to gas up the Volkswagen.  As she put the pump nozzle into the opening of the car’s gas tank, a large black Tahoe pulled in on the other side of the island.  A tall man with curly black hair tinged with silver and a vaguely familiar face stepped down from the vehicle and proceeded to remove the cap from the fuel intake.  When he turned toward the pump and saw Sandy, he smiled broadly and said, “Hi there!”
            When she responded with a quizzical look, he extended his hand.  “Woody Blackstone.  I nearly trampled you at Country Connections last Friday night.”
            “Of course!  How could I forget?” responded Sandy as the signs of recognition spread over her face.  She shook his hand and said, “I’m Sandy Miller.”  Just then, the nozzle clicked, telling her the gas tank on the VW was full.  She returned the nozzle to its slot on the pump, and went inside the station to pay for her purchase.   When she returned, Woody was still pumping gas into the Tahoe’s huge tank.  She climbed behind the wheel of her car and drove away.
            Woody watched her car disappear around a curve in the road, realizing he’d been practically snubbed by a good-looking woman, maybe for the first time in his life.  It took him by surprise.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

A Bit of Nostalgia

Yesterday Mr. Eva and I took two of our grandkids to see the movie "The Three Stooges."  I really didn't expect to enjoy it, I just wanted the kids to see it, as we grew up watching the stooges and their crazy antics.


I have to say I was delightfully surprised and enjoyed the show very much.  I tried to find a photo I could post, but they are all copyright protected apparently, and I was unsuccessful.

I was so entertained by the film!  Yes it was silly and slapstick, but I loved it.  The three stars did an amazing job....they looked very much like the originals, and definitely captured their essence.  Jane Lynch made a believable Mother Superior, and Jennifer Hudson was a "singing nun, and  Larry David is a wonderful grumpy nun -- all part of the staff at the orphanage where Curly, Moe, and Larry are abandoned as babies.  The boys grow to be quite a handful, and the orphanage ends up having them as residents for 35 years, having no luck finding a family that will adopt them.  Sophia Vergara is comical as the society wife who hires the now grown up stooges to bump of her husband.

It a well-directed performance, as timing is everything in this type of comedy.  The casting and makeup are excellent, too.  You will barely recognize Sean Hayes (formerly Jack on Will and Grace.)

Both grandkids (11-year-old Nick and 7-year-old Allie loved the show, and I think Mr. Eva laughed the hardest of us all! 

I'm sure some of you are too sophisticated to enjoy the wackiness; fortunately, we found we were not!
EVA

Monday, April 16, 2012

Monday Madness

You may think this is a dirty joke!  (Best viewed full screen!  Make sure your volume is on.)
video


Hope it made you smile!


EVA

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Silent Sunday


My oldest son and I enjoying Easter dinner last week.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Saturday Silliness

 redneck smoke alarm


You never have to change the batteries!!!
I'm putting one in every room! Safety First!

You don't have to thank me for this information....

I do this as a public service.



*****************************



Ole's car was hit by a truck in an accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole.
'Didn't you say, sir, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the lawyer.

Ole responded, 'Vell, I'll tell you vat happened. I had yust loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into da......'

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?

Ole said, 'Vell, I had yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas driving down da road.....

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie'.

Ole thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Vell, as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into da trailer and vas driving her down da highvay ven dis huge semi-truck and trailer ran da stop sign and smacked my truck right in da side. I vas trown into one ditch and Bessie vas trown into da other. I vas hurting real bad and didn't vant to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape yust by her groans'. 'Shortly after da accident da Highway Patrolman, he came to da scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he vent over to her'.

'After he looked at her and saw her fatal condition he took out his gun and shot Bessie right 'tween da eyes.

Den da Patrolman, he came across da road, gun still smoking, looked at me and said, 'How are you feeling?'

Now tell me, vat vould YOU have said?

**************************************
    Blonde goes to the store to buy curtains.

She says to the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.

'The salesman shows her several patterns then he asks her what size curtains do you need?'

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

''Seventeen inches?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for!?'

The blonde says, 'they aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'

The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains!

'The blonde says: 'Helloooooo .... mine has Windows.....!!
****************************


The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was
standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said:" What are your golf clubs doing here"?

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

**************************
EVA

Friday, April 13, 2012

Friday Fiction: Welcome to Singles Night, Chapter 10

(A word of caution: this fiction series may occasionally stray from a PG-13 rating to an R rating. Proceed at your own risk!)

If you missed the first part of Chapter 9, click here.

If you missed the second part of Chapter 9, click here.

If you need to start at chapter 1, click here.

          Woody Blackstone grabbed two cups, dumped some ice in them, popped open a can of Diet Coke and poured the fizzy liquid into the two cups.  Then he strode quickly toward the stage where Patty Blanchette was gathering up her sheet music.


          “Join me for a Diet Coke?” he asked, extending one of the cups toward the redheaded vocalist.  Her green eyes took in every inch of him before she reached for the offered drink.  His confidence boosted a bit, he continued, “You were really belting them out tonight; you had the crowd eating out of your hand.”


          “Thanks.  And thanks for the drink.  I’m always pretty dry by the end of the night,” replied Patty.  She continued to appraise him with a little bit of a twinkle in her eye.


          “Hey, it’s the least I can do.  That voice of yours keeps attracting the crowds, which puts cash in my pocket.  Your rendition of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” was amazing!  The customers here hardly ever give a standing ovation, and there was no one left seated when you ended that!”


          “Well, it’s one of my favorites, and I love doing it.”  Patty sat down on the bench behind the keyboard and took a long sip of the Coke.


           “Would you like to go get a sandwich or something somewhere?” Woody ventured.  


            “I’m really beat and I just want to go home,” she responded.


           “Maybe we could have dinner some night when you’re not working?”  Woody pushed on, hopeful that she might agree.


          “I’m sorry, but I’m in a committed relationship.  You seem like a nice enough guy, but I’m just not on the market   Thanks for the compliment, though.”  She smiled, handed him her empty cup, and rose to her feet.  “I have to go now, the guys are waiting.”


         “Of course.”  Woody took the cup and tried not to look as crestfallen as he felt.  For weeks he’d been working up the courage to approach her; it hadn’t occurred to him that she might already have someone in her life.  Of course, she would!  She was attractive, talented; it was only logical that some guy would have already scooped her up.  ‘Well, that explains why she didn’t even acknowledge me when I tried to make conversation last week,’ he thought.  ‘At least it’s nothing personal.’ 


         It was a little disappointing, though, to finally feel like he might like to date someone, only to get turned down.  Realistically, a lounge and dance hall singer probably wouldn’t be the best of choices, if he really thought about it.  She’d be out performing five or six nights a week—what kind of relationship would that be?  He really hadn’t given her work schedule any consideration, until he started looking for reasons not to feel bad about getting turned down.  All he had thought about were those green eyes, the husky voice, and the cleavage!  It was all superficial.  He didn’t even know anything else about her.  “Chalk that one up to raging hormones,” he thought.


          Woody knew he wasn’t a bad-looking guy.  The fact that hardly a week went by without one or more of the women who frequented the bottle club flirting with him and trying to lure him out onto the dance floor, was evidence of that.  When he bought the place in ’78, he’d decided that he wasn’t going to get involved with any of the customers.  It could be bad for business.  It hadn’t always been easy to stick to that, especially in the last year.  The pain of having lost his Heather had begun to ease, and his libido, which he had been sure had died with her, was slowly reviving.  He had to admit he’d been tempted by some of the ladies who seemed to lust after him.


          Tonight Woody had stayed in his office most of the time and had avoided contact with the female clientele, except for that strawberry blonde he’d almost knocked on her butt.  She was attractive and had a great body, but she nearly bit his head off.  No flirting from her; he doubted she’d even give him the time of day.  He chuckled as he remembered how she’d snapped at him; a spitfire, that one, for sure!


          Finally, the place emptied, he followed Leo and Brad out and locked the door behind him.  “See you guys tomorrow night,” he called as he climbed into his Tahoe.  He could sleep in tomorrow.  Woody’s day job as an engineer didn’t require him to work on Saturdays, which was a good thing.  After working all day Friday, and then putting in an evening at Country Connections, he always needed to get a couple extra hours of shut eye on the weekends.  The sound of the Beach Boys emanating from the radio kept him company as he drove down the highway homeward.

(to be continued.)

EVA

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Living Without Limits

I received this on email and found it so inspiring, I just had to share it!





















How many of us are limited in what we accomplish due to self-imposted parameters?

EVA

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Random Thoughts

My brother turned 82 yesterday.  That is so amazing.  And he looks great.  I hope he has many more birthdays ahead of him!



Of course, this means I'm getting older, too.  I have noticed that as we age, we develp migrating hair problems; for men, this means small shrubs taking root inside the ears, which may account for some hearing loss.  For me, it means the hair that used to grow on my legs is finding its way to my face.  At this rate, I'll soon be able to pluck my legs and shave my face!



I just read that the latest craze is to have plastic surgery to have your butt "enhanced" to look like Pippa Middleton's.


Apparently, women are willling to pay to have fat from their abdomens or thighs injected into their butts to achieve the look.  Hell, my butt makes two of hers without my having to undergo surgery!  Does this mean we can expect at some point that women will be paying to have the" Eva Butt?"    If so, I can tell you now, it takes longer than plastic surgery and involves the consumption of lots of pepperoni pizza and chocolate! (Sorry, no photos!)

Last night my Boston Celtics beat the Miami Heat for the second time.  After a very sad start to the season, the guys are looking like they have another playoff run in their future.  Rajon Rhondo, Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen, Brandon Bass, Avery Bradley, Greg Steimsma....I love them all!
What a game!


Went to the Chamber of Horrors again yesterday and ended up having a Nooner with my husband again!  Imagine--at our age!  (If those highlighted lines don't ring a bell, you may want to click on the links.)


That's it for random thoughts for today!

EVA

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Friday, April 6, 2012

Friday Fiction: Welcome to Singles Night, Chapter 9 continued

(A word of caution: this fiction series may occasionally stray from a PG-13 rating to an R rating. Proceed at your own risk!)

If you missed the first part of Chapter 9, click here.







It was 3:30 a.m. when Sandy’s phone rang. She had been sleeping fitfully and mumbled, “Hello?” into the receiver.
“You have to come get me,” said a tearful voice. It was Ginger.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” All kinds of emergency alarms were going off in Sandy’s mind.
“Just please come and get me,” she pleaded.
“Okay, okay. I’m on my way. Where are you?” There was a long pause.
“I don’t know,” she answered. “I walked so far on this dirt road, in the pitch dark.” Now her voice was shaking with audible sobs.
“Hon, I can’t come get you if I don’t know where you are. Stop and think, or look around. I need some kind of clue.”
“I’m in an all night coffee shop.”
“Not enough information. Where is the coffee shop? Can you ask someone, or look out the window and tell me what you see?”
Luckily, she was able to identify her surroundings sufficiently for Sandy to realize where she was. “Stay right there; I’ll be there as quickly as I can!” Hanging up the phone, Sandy reached for a sweater and jeans, pulling them on in a rush. She grabbed her purse and her car keys, jumped into her car and drove to the place Ginger had described.
She saw Ginger through the coffee shop window, looking pretty forlorn. As soon as Sandy had parked and exited the car, Ginger came running out the door towards her and grabbed her in a huge hug.
“Thank God you found me,” she cried.
Sandy hugged her back, and then helped her to the car. She had broken one of the heels on her shoes and was limping awkwardly.
“Are you alright? Did he hurt you?” Sandy wondered whether she needed to take her friend to the hospital emergency room or contact the police.
“No I’m okay. Al dropped us off at Carl’s house, which was a real dump, by the way, out on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. We went inside, and he started kissing me as he led me to his bedroom. To make a long story short, we tumbled onto the bed, and he immediately passed out on top of me! I panicked, partly because he was a huge, dead weight on top of me, and I didn’t know if I’d be able to extricate myself before he came to. Plus there was no car in the driveway, and Al had left us there and driven away.” She paused to wipe away a tear with a soggy tissue.
“I finally managed to crawl out from under that unconscious hulk of humanity—I swear he must have weighed at least 250 pounds! I left and walked out to the main road. Luckily, I headed in the right direction and after what seemed like miles, I saw the lights of this coffee shop and called you from the pay phone.”
The hysteria had emerged after the alcohol buzz had worn off during her chilly hike to town, and Ginger realized all that could have happened to her. She began to cry again, and Sandy hugged her until the sobbing subsided. Then she started the car, backed out of the coffee shop parking lot, and drove Ginger home.
“You okay?” Sandy asked as she pulled into Ginger’s driveway.
“Yeah. Thanks for coming to get me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” answered Sandy. She watched Ginger until she entered her apartment, then she turned the car in the direction of Pinewoods. ‘See you at work on Monday,’ she mumbled to no one in particular and drove home.

(To be continued)

To go to the next installment, click here.
EVA