Followers

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Saturday Silliness


*******************************
Kyle died.

His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral.

As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her oldest and dearest friend. 'Well, I'm sure Jim would be pleased,' she said.

'I'm sure you're right,' replied Brenda, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. 'How much did this really cost?'

'All of it,' said Sharon . 'Forty thousand.'

'No!' Brenda exclaimed. 'I mean, it was very nice, but $40,000?'

Sharon answered, 'The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to church. The whiskey, wine and snacks were another $500. The rest went for the Memorial Stone.'
Brenda computed quickly. '$32,500 for a Memorial Stone? How big is it?
Sharon held out her hand:


***********************
A conversation in heaven

SYLVIA:
Hi! Wanda.

WANDA:
Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?


SYLVIA:
I froze to death.


WANDA:
How horrible!


SYLVIA:
It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from

the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy,
and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?

WANDA:
I died of a massive heart attack.

I suspected that my husband was cheating,
so I came home early to catch him in the act.
But instead, I found him all by himself

in the den watching TV.

SYLVIA:
So, what happened?


WANDA:
I was so sure there was another woman
there somewhere that I started running

all over the house looking. I ran up into
the attic and searched, and down into the
basement. Then I went through every closet
and checked under all the beds. I kept this up
until I had looked everywhere, and finally
I became so exhausted that I just keeled over
with a heart attack and died.

SYLVIA:
Too bad you didn't look in the freezer

---we'd both still be alive
****************************************

*****************

Update On My Surgery!!
Dear Family and Friends,
Many of you know I went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift at the WalMart Medical Center ..
I didn't have the most pleasant experience.
I should've left well enough alone.
I wanted to show you how it turned out.
I hope this keeps YOU from having this done.
Please, PLEASE ...PLEASE . .
Don't get a Butt Lift at the WalMart Medical Center ..
You will most certainly regret it !!!
 
 
**************
 
EVA

Friday, June 29, 2012

amazing Photos!


Favellas of Brazil;  The boundary between wealth and poverty.


The longest bridge in the world crosses the Gulf of Jiaozhou, in China.


World's highest chained carousel in Vienna--117 meters!


Clouds in Northeastern Australia.


The view from the 163rd floor of a skyscraper in Dubai.



View from the same floor looking down on a clear day.


                                            A family photo.


Computer Games Store in Paris; floor is actually flat!  Optical illusion.


Banpo Bridge in Seoul, South Korea


Danxia Landform--a geological formation in China


Crescent Moon Tower in Dubai


"River Above the River;"  Magedburg Water Bridge in Germany.

Migration of the Manta Rays in the Gulf of Mexico


Above the fog in Sydney, Australia


The worlds's longest traffic jam--161 miles!  Happened in China.


I received 39 unudual photos in an email; I'm sharing my favorites with you!

EVA

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

WTF Wednesday!

Did you know that is illegal to "go commando" in Thailand?  Yep!  You could get arrested for being "too casual."  The law says you must wear underwear at all times.    What I want to know is, who enforces this law?  Is there a "skivvy searcher" or a "panty police?"  And I'd be curious as to what the punishment would be?  Sentenced to wearing Granny panties for 20 years?

**********************



While we're on the subject of undies, the police in Thailand arrested a 48-year-old man and found 1,000 pairs of ladies underwear in the trunk of his car, and over 10,000 pairs at his home.  It seems the perv had been pilfering panties since the age of 18; he likes to smell them while he's driving!  OOOOOOOOOOOkay.......

****************

U. S. Olympic athlete Justin Gatin offered his tie-breaker solution to decide whether Allyson Felix or Jenebah Tarmoh should compete in the Olympics after they finished Trials in a dead heat; he suggested they mud wrestle or Jello-wrestle for the third spot on the team.  Talk about a total disrespect for women athletes!  This guy is the Rush Limbaugh of the Olympics.  For shame!

****************

A California student got his arm stuck in a vending machine while trying to steal a can of soda.  Firemen had to use something like a chainsaw to open the machine to free him.  He now may face charges of attempted theft.  Talk about getting caught with your hand in the cookie jar!

*****************
Source of above items:  Yahoo News

**********************

Police in Times Square were not "tickled" by Elmo.  It seems an Elmo (that lovable pink muppet from Sesame Street) impersonator has been trying to give our Elmo a bad name.  The potty-mouthed imposter had been hanging around Times Square in New York City.  After being caught on video tape delivering an obscenity filled rant, police hauled him out of Central Park and took him by ambulance to Metropolitan Central Hospital for a psychological evaluation.  (Source:  WebProNews)


I'm glad it was determined that he was an imposter!  For a minute there I thought my grandson's "Tickle Me Elmo" had been tickled one too many times and lost it!  What is this world coming to, when even Elmo is in danger of character assassination;  I suspect the Tea Party is behind this.

**********
EVA

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Confession: My Guilty Pleasure

Okay, I'm confessing to my guilty pleasure today.  I love watching the Bachelor and Bachelorette TV series.  I've watched every single show since it started.  Every season I say I'm not going to watch it this time, but I always do!

I know, it's cheesey, probably staged and scripted in many instances, but I just can't stop watching.  I love the opening show of each season when the limos pull up to deposit an assortment of winner-wannabes in front of the "mansion" to meet the season's bachelor or bachelorette.  I love the gorgeous dresses and gowns the women wear; I love seeing the exotic locations the producers choose and the "romantic" dates they dream up.  I love guessing who will get a rose and who will be sent home; I love the cat fighting and bro-bickering; and I love guessing who's going to be the one everyone hates, and who will be the last one standing!

I know...it's juvenile of me, but I still can't stay away.  And remember....Tristan and Ryan who met on Season 1, 2003, are still married 9 years later and have two children.  Also, Jason and Molly are still married, 3 years later.  Ashley (who was from Maine) and J.P. are still engaged.

The summer spinoff of this show, Bachelor Pad, features an assortment of participants from past seasons living under one roof and competing in partnered events for a money prize.  Yeah, I get suckered into watching that, too.  Amazingly, more couples have ended up married who weren't winners on the Bachelor or Bachelorette, but appeared on Bachelor Pad.

One bachelor contestant from the 2009 season, Julien Hug, suffered from severe depression and committed suicide in 2010.



Anyone else out there willing to admit to being bitten by the Bachelor/Bachelorette "bug?"  Come on, 'fess up!  I know I can't be the only one, or the show would have been cancelled long ago!  Who do you think Emily will be with at the end?  I guessing Ari or Sean.
EVA

Monday, June 25, 2012

Family-Oriented Weekend

This past weekend included lots of family time.  We drove to Millinocket, Maine, to attend a funeral.  One of Mr. Eva's cousins' wife passed away.  The lady was only 61 and had been sick for some time.   I did not know her, but Mr. Eva doesn't have many relatives, and we decided it would be appreciated if we went.

He has one aunt left; she is 92 and so sharp, we were amazed.  She's just a tiny lady and so cute!  I did know her and had seen her many times.  She is the widow of Mr. Eva's father's brother, and it was her daughter-in-law who died.  She hugged us tightly and thanked us for coming all that distance(about 4 hours drive one way) .  We went to the wake and then to the funeral service on Saturday morning.  Mr. Eva saw several relatives and friends he hadn't seen in some time.

We also went to dinner with two other couples who are long-time friends of his...since just after high school.  (And as he graduated in 1958, that's a long time to be friends!)  We also spent the rest of the evening with one of those two couples.  The 4 of us have been friends for 23 years.  It was great to talk and laugh together again.

We drove back to Saco after the funeral on Saturday, and were able to attend a surprise birthday party for my youngest son who just turned 39.  That was great fun--lots of great people, rockin' music and amazing quantities of delicious eats!  (We're talking baked beans, sweet and sour chicken, kilbasa in barbeque sauce, coctail franks, potato salad, pasta salad, tossed salad, finger rolls, chips and dips, crackers and cheese, rum punch, beer, bottled water-- a veritable feast!)  The birthday boy's fiance knows how to throw a party.

 I was sad that we were so tired from our trip that we left early.  We old folks collapsed in bed and slept for at least 10 hours!!!  We're just not as young as we once were!  Such a pity.

All in all, we had a very family weekend, which made it all quite special.  Hope your weekend was a good one, too.

EVA

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Silent Sunday


Buddies and cousins; my two oldest grandsons!

EVA

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Saturday Silliness

Acts 2:38




A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: 'Stop! Acts 2:38!' (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven).
The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.
As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar...'Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.'
'Scripture?' replied the burglar. 'She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!'
**********************
 
En garde!
 
 
 
The French, German, and American fencers are arguing over who is the best in
their sport.  The Frenchman pulls out his foil: "I will show you all!"  He
targets a fly buzzing around, and with one swipe of his blade, the fly falls to
the ground, cut neatly in half.

The German smiles. He locates another fly, and with two swipes, it falls to the
ground, its wings neatly removed.


Now it's the American's turn. Lifting his foil, he takes three swipes at a fly,
which flutters off, undisturbed.  The others laugh, but the American holds up
his hands.  "That fly," he says, "will never procreate again."

**********************
 

  Slap me up side the head!




Bubba goes to an outdoor show and wins a bass boat.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,

"What you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to
float a boat within 100 miles of here."

He says, "I won it and I'm a-gonna keep it."

His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees
the wife and asks where his brother is.

She says, "He's out there in his bass boat",
pointing to the field behind the house.

The brother heads out behind the house and sees his
brother in the middle of a big field sitting in a
bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand .
He yells out to him, "What are you doin'?"

His brother replies, "I'm fishin'. What does it look like I'm a doin'?"

His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from Mississippi
a bad name, makin' everybody think we're stupid. If
I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!
 
************************
Why People Hate to Attend High School Reunions
 
 
 
 
Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.  Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.  Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.   Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York 's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.
Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida.
Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.
 
 
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.
Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.
Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.
 
EVA

Friday, June 22, 2012

Flaunting My Fiction Friday

For those readers who missed "New Word Wednesday" which ran for 50 weeks on this blog last year!  Those fun definitions are all in my book, The Blogger's Fictionary.


(click on book description to look inside!)

Book Description

January 2, 2012
We’ve all encountered them—those pesky work verifications intended to keep spammers off websites. After three years of blogging and encountering these barriers on a daily basis, it occurred to me that great new word possibilities were being wasted. Why, every day I would type strange letter combinations, hit “enter,” and the letters would disappear, never to be seen again!

I decided that it was time to document these strange letter combinations and assign a definition to them, thereby creating some wonderful new words for our vocabularies. Following are over 250 of these new creations for your enjoyment; feel free to assimilate your favorites into your everyday conversation. You friends and co-workers will be envious!

You’re welcome!
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
Very funny lady! January 4, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition
I've been reading Eva's entertaining blog for quite some time now and this book is just as hilarious! Having a bad day? Need a pick me up? Check out The Blogger's Fictionary on Kindle and WrestlingWithRetirement.com online. You'll be laughing your cares away before you know it.

click here to look inside the book and/or buy it.

EVA

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Senior Relationship Breakers

I saw a video on Yahoo that was a clip from Bethenny Frankel's Talk Show.  I've never watched the show, and this was just a short segment where she and two female guests were talking about "Relationship Breakers."  All they talked about in the clip was penis size, but it got me thinking about what might be relationship breakers for women over 60  "mature" women who might be single and back in the dating game. 


All you young 'uns out there don't realize what we older women have to think about.  Now I happen to be very happy with Mr. Eva, but not all women out there still have the love of their lives.  Some are widows, some are divorcees, and some are ex-nuns.

I decided to make a list of what would be relationship breakers if I were dating:

1.  He has to take his teeth out to eat.  I have nothing against dentures, but I'd prefer not to have them staring at me from the dining room table when were having dinner..at home or in a restaurant!

2.  He's a smoker.  I'm not fond of smoking anyway, but at our age, it can be a fire hazard if he forgets where he left the darn thing!

3.  He needs to have his food put through a blender before he can ingest it.  (See #1.)

4.  He asks to borrow my Spanx.  Sharing undergarments with my date is not a big turn-on.  (I don't even own Spanx, but if he wants to wear such a thing, he's either too vain or a cross-dresser.)

5.  He shows me his Viagra prescription on the first date.  (I know at our age, our days may be numbered, but please!  It's rather presumptuous!)

6.  He still lives with his mother.  (That's a no-no at any age!)

Feel free to add your own ideas in the spectator shouts section below!
EVA

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

WTF Wednesday

WTF were they thinking???

      A couple of parents in Falmouth, Maine, hosted a party for 100 high school students, including members of the school's baseball and lacrosse teams who were clelebrating recent championships.  When police arrived, the home owner met them in the driveway and said there was no alcohol being consumed at the party, but shortly afterward, officers pulled over a vehicle with three drunk teenagers in the back seat.

They returned to the home and found evidence that teenagers had been smoking marijuana and consuming alcohol, and vomit was everywhere.  Although no one had to be taken to the hospital, police treated several minors at the scene for excessive alcohol consumption.
The homeowner/parents are facing charges of furnishing alcohol to minors and could face jail time if convicted.  When news reporters contacted the homeowners, the woman said that police had given a "skewed" account of what happened.  When asked for further information, she refused to make any additional comment.
You may be wondering, how does anyone fit 100 teenagers into their house?  Easy to do if it's a mansion.  The home was pictured on Yahoo Under WMTW News, and the place is a mansion and then some!  I guess maybe these people think they are above the law because they are wealthy.  I'm sure all of you have seen stories about teenagers killed in drunk driving accidents or who have died from alcohol overdose;  every year around graduation  we lose a few needlessly.  And we've seen adults prosecuted for providing the alcohol, or a place to drink it.  Still, these people ignored all that and hosted this party!  I hope the judge throws the book at them!

Babies Busted?
Apparently, the use of Johnson and Johnson Baby Soaps and Shampoos can cause infants to test positive for marijuana.  The babies don't exhibit any symtoms consistent with marijuana use; it just seems that these baby products somehow interfere with the tests. 
No--Drinking baby shampoo will not make you high!  Although, don't be surprised if you fart bubbles!

High Roller with the Banks Dollars!
Bank of America experienced what they called "a glitch" transferring a customer's funds from another bank.  The customer who originally had $300 in his account, discovered the glitch and over a 15 day period withdrew $1.5 million from Casino ATMs, and gambled it all away!

 This dude had sh#t for brains!  Wouldn't you think that after he lost a thousand or two, he'd realize gambling wasn't the best idea?  Of course, withdrawing funds you know aren't yours isn't too swift, either.  He was obviously a few beers short of a six-pack!

Note:  The source for all stories above was Yahoo

EVA

Monday, June 18, 2012

Why Men Are Seldom Depressed

Men Are Just Happier People -
 
 What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth
 
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character.
 
 Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.
 
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, He or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life.
 
 One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes. Men Are Just Happier People
NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but
she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals
.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
(I wish I could take credit for the above, but it came to me on email, and I just had to share!)
EVA

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day to my late Dad and all the other Dads out there!  Remember, "Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a Dad."

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Saturday Silliness

Busted!

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.  The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.
He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.  "Come on, now, " he said, "you don't have to take it so hard.  It isn't that serious."
"It isn't?" cried the motorist.  "Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"



***********************


SCOTTISH COW





The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk.
The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland cheaply.
So, they brought the cow over from Scotland .
It was absolutely wonderful,
producing lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows,
so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but
whenever the bull tried to mount the cow,
the cow would move away.
No matter what approach the bull tried,
the cow would move away from the bull,
and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to
the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and
ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.

If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this
before asking,

"Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?"

The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned
that they had brought the cow over from Scotland .

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said.
"How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ?

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye:

"My wife is from Scotland "

*************************

Question:
How many wome with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?


Answer:
One. ONE!  And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?  Because no one else in this f*#king house knows HOW to change a f*#king lightbulb! They don't even know the bulb is burned out.  They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out.  And once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs, despite the fracth that they've been in the same f*#king cupboard for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS!

But if they did by some miracle find the light bulbs, two f*#king days later the chair they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! ! ! And underneath it would be the crumpled wrapper the stupid light bulb came in.  WHY??  Because no one in this housse ever carries out the garbage!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET  DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE.  THE HOUSE!!  IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS ..................................

**************************

EVA

Friday, June 15, 2012

Celtics Fan Friday

The Celtics made this fun video as a thank you to their fans; since I'm such an avid one, I just felt the need to share this with you!  I hope you'll watch it and enjoy!  They had a great run.  They were a thrill to watch!  I thought this was a great gift---of course I assumed it was made for me personally, but I'm willing to share it with my friends!     

      

When you see Paul Pierce waving his arms up and down, he's signalling the crowd to stand up and cheer.  During the last part of the video, when the crowd is standing and chanting, "Let's go Celtics!  Let's go Celtics!" it was the last 2 minutes of game 7 of the Semi-finals against the Miami Heat.  It was obvious that the Celtics had lost the game, but the fans still were showing their support and love.  Where else but Boston would you see that?

Most games, when their team falls behind, the "so-called fans" head to the parking lot!  Sometimes they even "boo" their own team!  Not Celtics fans, as this video shows!
EVA

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Thankful Thursday

Do you rember May of 2011 when I published a post, "You Have Stage 3 Cancer?"

After having surgery to have a third of his bowel removed, he went through 6 months of chemotherapy.  We were very fortunate that he tolerated the chemo well and only took one anti-nausea tablet during the whole 6 months.
Well, yesterday he had his one year follow-up colonoscopy.  The results were excellent; he's cancer-free!  Needless to say, we are thrilled, relieved, grateful, and a plethora of other wonderful emotions!


He has been given a clean bill of health and does not need to go back for another colonoscopy for two years!  Life is good!

We'd like to thank all of you out there who sent positive thoughts and offered up prayers, as they obviosly worked!   Thank you again and God bless you all.  

EVA

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

WTF Wednesday

Looking for employment?

The Florida Wildlife Department is advertising openings for part-time crocodile wranglers; $25 per hour, no experience necessary.   Must have your own car or boat.  Sounds like a chance to be crocodile bait!  I wonder if people are lining up for this opportunmity???

**********

Watch Your Mouth!

Middleborough, MA residents at a town meeting voted to impose a $20 fine on public profanity.  I'm sure that will bring forth the ACU with arguments in favor of free speech.  Good luck with that whole issue.  I wonder if there's a list of the words that are considered profanity.....remember George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words?

**********

The Sit-Down Pee Capital?

In Sweeden, a province is proposing a law which would require men to urinate in a seated position.  The reasons given are that it is more sanitary (apparently not many men have perfect aim), it would decrease the number of prostrate problems (some of which are caused by a failure to fully empty the bladder, which is easier to do while seated), and lessen the incidences of impotence.   (Sounds like a stiff argument to refute!)  What I want to know is, will they have monitors in the bathrooms to make sure the law is enforced?

***************

3D Bearded Sports Tattoos

This serious hockey fan had her favorite play Luc Rabaille's face tattooed in her armpit, and then grew a beard for him. 




Hmmm......maybe I should have Kevin Garnett's face tattooed on my lower abdomen?


EVA
Yahoo was the source of the above news items; Keven Garnett's photo comes from the Celtics Website.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Blog Spam?

I think there's a new kind of blog spam.  Not the anonymous comments that appear on your posts if you don't use word verification, something worse!

This is a blog that showed up in my blog reader.  It is not a blog I've chosen to follow; I've never seen it before, and if I had, I surely would not have signed on as a follower. 

It was identified as "dea milistaq at Insurance Club" and there are like a dozens of posts appearing in my blog reader, all listed as having been posted an hour ago.  (I'm typing this at 10:30 pm on Monday night).  I clicked on the profile.  The information was pretty vague.  I reported it as spam and blocked it, and I wondered if anyone else has experienced anything like this? 

It really annoyed me because it clogged up my reader with all these insurance related posts and I had to scroll down through 26 posts to get to the blogs I actually follow!

I hope this isn't some kind of "blog virus!"  Please tell me if you have experienced anything like this.

EVA

Sunday, June 10, 2012

A Truly Sad Sunday

Left to right:  Kevin "The Big Ticket" Garnett, Rajon Rhondo, Paul "The Truth" Pierce, and Ray Allen
It's the end of an era; they fought hard and well.  They lost in the last quarter.
I love you guys and congratulate you for making it to the 7th game of the Semi-finals.  Your pride, your class, your unselfishness, your intestinal fortitude, and your obvious affection for each other have given us, your fans, so many thrills and so much of which to be proud!  Thank you for an amazing trip in this shortened NBA season.  I'm sure we will see all four of you inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in the future.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Saturday Silliness

The Blonde Pilot

This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater
 airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She,
 frantic, calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack
and is dead, and I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk
 you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of
 experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me
your height and position."

She says
, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
(Pause)
"O.K." says the voice on the radio....
"Repeat after me:
Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . ."
 
**********************
 
A father asked his 10-year son if he knew about the birds and the bees.
 
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears.  "Promise you won't
tell me!"
 
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
 
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'there's no Easter Bunny' speech.
At seven, I got the 'there's no Tooth Fairy' speech.   When I was eight, you hit
me with the 'there's no Santa Clause' speech.  If you're going to tell me that grown-ups
don't really get laid, I'll have nothing to live for!"
 
*****************
 
 
 
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
"You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side...

You know what Martha?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I'm beginning to think you're bad luck."
 
*********************

I was at the Senior Center today and failed a Health and Safety course that
was put on for us old fogies ..
One of the questions was: "In the event of a fire, what steps would you
take?"
"F##kin' big ones" was apparently the wrong answer.....
*************************
EVA

Friday, June 8, 2012

Flaunting My Fiction Friday

Taking this day to let you know my first book, Hospitalized and Heartstruck, is available on Kindle!  The synopsis is below, as well as a review that appears on Amazon, written by Terri Sonoda, a fellow blogger you may know from her hilariously witty blog Terri's Little Corner.


Hospitalized and Heart-Struck! by Eva Gallant (Jan 6, 2012)

Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book was one of Eva Gallant's first books on Kindle and I was fortunate enough to read it right away after its completion. It's a heartwarming romance, yet sassy and not sticky-sweet. A good book to curl up with on a rainy night. It left me with a warm, satisfied feeling. It's a good read and I recommend it!
*******************************
 
 
If you haven't read it yet, I hope you will click on the link above which takes you to Amazon where you can take a peek inside, and purchase it if you choose!  And if course, many thanks to Terri for taking the time to post a review on Amazon!
EVA

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Thong Thursday?

What the sophisticated man is wearing to the beach?  Dandified Dicks on the dock?

Given the top hats, this must have been a formal occasion.  I suspect the back side view must be even scarier!
EVA