Followers

Friday, August 31, 2012

Frantic Friday

Mr. Eva and I maybe moving closer to my 2 sons soon.  We are looking at senior housing and if all goes well, we will be downsizing from 3 bedrooms and 2 baths to 1 bedroom and 1 bath.  Right now, we are 45 minutes drive from my oldest son and nearly an hour away from the youngest.  This move will bring us to within 12 miles of the oldest son, and will shorten the drive to the youngest son's home also.  Mr. Eva's son lives in Texas, so we are still going to be a great distance from him, unfortunately.


The result will be a safer winter; we won't have to worry about shoveling snow or me having another "I've fallen and I can't get up" episonde like I did last winter.  The parking lot and walkways are kept clear of ice and snow for us.


Right now, I'm a little frantic because we will have to get rid of almost everything we own.  The senior apartment is very small (which will be a joy to take care of), but just does not have enough space for our two Lazyboy couches, our large dining room table and chairs, our computer desks, my cookbook collection, my Christmas Village, our large artificial Christmas tree, and tons of other things!

On the upside, I'm learning to navigate Craigs List and have started listing things in hopes of selling them and acquiring the cash to move the items we are keeping and to purchase two recliners and a breakfast-nook size table and chairs.

The next few weeks, if we do move, are going to be hectic, so I will apologize in advance for the likely decrease in my posting and commenting on your blogs.  Once we are settled in, I promise to be right back at it!

EVA

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

WTF Wednesday

Once agine, things that make  me scratch my head and say "What the F*ck?"




A man In Montana named Randy Lee Tenley was killed when he was struck by two cars while wandering on Highway 93 in a camouflage suit which resembled vegetation or foliage.  The state trooper  at the scene says apparently his goal was to make people think he was "Sasquatch."  It's not known whether this was his first time playing this prank.

Sounds like Sasquatch became Sasquash!   You can't make these things up!

****************


According Florida Atlantic University and the Online Privacy Foundation research, your Twitter vocabulary can identify you as a psychopath.  Using words like bury, die, and kill can indicate that you are a closet psychopath.  

I'm shaking in my shoes that the men in the white coats are after me, because I recall tweeting at one point that the Gingerbread Cheesecake I made last Thanksgiving was "to die for," and I'm sure I must have at one time or another that I would kill for a Lindt Chocolate Truffle.   So if I disappear, look for me in lockup!  I may have to give up 'tweeting' altogether!

***************


A nineteen year-old boy was beaten and had his lips stapled together after having admitted to being Jewish.  East Lansing Michigan Police say they do not believe this was a hate crime.

Okay, but it sure dosn't sound like an act of love!  Unless of course, it wasn't a "legitimate" stapling.,


*********************


By now, you've all seen photos of Prince Harry partying in the nude in his hotel in Vegas.  What about that promo that says, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" 

I know...that's not a picture of Prince Harry up there.  Sorry, ladies, I refused to embarras the Prince any further!

****************************

EVA









Monday, August 27, 2012

The All American Kidd: A Book Review

I haven't done a book review lately, and I don't think I've ever done one where I didn't receive a complimentary copy with a request to review it on my blog.

 
I actually purchased this book on Kindle (although it's available in paperback, too.)  The "click here to look inside" link doesn't work here, but if you click on the link at the end of my blog post, it will connect you to Amazon where you can look inside!

This is the description that appears on Amazon regarding this book:

"When President Charles Bentley Kidd is impeached and removed from office over a sex scandal with the White House pastry chef, he has no idea what the future holds for him. Then a chance meeting with a college drop-out in his new Connecticut neighborhood offers him an opportunity at redemption, through a road trip to Los Angeles to see the daughter who is now avoiding him. Along the journey west, Kidd teaches his travel companion -- a boy named Kenny Kernick who was removed from Harvard over a scandal of his own -- the art of being confident with the opposite sex, secure in himself and bold in the world. But when they arrive in Los Angeles, will Kenny thank Kidd for the lesson and go on his way, or will he try to unleash all he has learned -- on Kidd's own daughter?

Irreverent and heart-warming, funny yet poignant, All-American Kidd follows two fallen individuals -- one a former leader of the free world, the other a laughingstock of Harvard Yard -- as they rebuild their lives, characters and reputations in the face of public disgrace. As American as stealing your father's car for a road trip, All-American Kidd will leave you breathless in its scope and laughing every mile of the way.
"

**********************************

I don't know what more I can say about The All American Kidd.  It was a raunchy, rib-tickling romp that had me laughing out loud so many times that when I finished the book, Mr. Eva grabbed my Kindle and won't give it back until he's done.  And now he's the one laughing out loud.

When I finished the book I thought of several of my blogger friends whom I know would love it:
Jayne Martin of InJayne'sWorld,    also Al Penwasser of Penwasser Place,      Pat of View From the Edge,    Midget Man of Steel of Mental Poo, and Kelly of Kelly's Breakroom.  There are more of you out there I know...If you read any of the above blogs, then you have the sense of humor that will enable you to enjoy this fun read!

It's The All American Kidd, by Rob Poulin; click here, and go check it out!  And you're welcome for the laughter it brings you!

EVA

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Silent Sunday

 
Celebrating my birthday with Mr. Eva and two of our grandkids, Nick and Allie.

EVA

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Saturday Silliness




Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw
her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak
from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially
my mother and father."
4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some
deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again."
6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife
of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
 
8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like
they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them...
Oh my God, what have I just said?"
 
********************************
 
All Hunters Know This:
 
Why Male Elk Have Long Antlers
 
 
It's a "guy" thing---regardless of species!
 
******************************
 
 


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Cell Phones in Church

This church has found a unique way to deal with those pesky cell phone interruptions!




Amen!

EVA

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

WTF Wednesday

Things today that made me wonder, WTF???

Did you know that Sylvester Stallone's Mom is an astrologer and psychic whose area of expertise is Rumpology?  Yep, she's the best butt-reader around.  She says the crevices, dimples (cellulite?), and folds she finds on your "trunk junk" enable her to predict the future! 

Hmmm....Having "perused" my posterior in the full-length (and width!) mirror, I think that's a story I'll skip, thank you very much!  Anyone out there willing to bare their buttocks to sooth-sayer surveillance?

*****************
Beach Beauties?

No, it's not an alien invasion; it's the face-kini!   The new rage among the Chinese.  Apparently in their culture, tanned skin represents a life of outdoor "peasant work," while pale skin represents luxury and success.

 So all you tanning-bed induced dark-skinned losers out there need to "lighten up!"  Personally, I guess I'll rely on sun-screen for protection rather than one of these goulish face-kinis!

****************

Potty Protest Down Under!


Twelve people in bowler hats and black suits brought their own "johns" and staged a "sit in" (no, I didn't misspell sh*t in!) to protest the inadequate public facilities at Adelaide beach.  Remember, this is winter in Australia!



 These guys, dropping their drawers and placing their posteriers on porcelain, are in real danger of freezing their fannies for the sake of getting their message out there! 

It's a shame they must bare their butts to the breeze to get the government to finance "facilities!"  (Of course, these could be prime prospects for the Rumpologist!)

********************

The Lebron X

Nike has just "done it!"  They've designed a new sneaker with electronics that can measure how high a player can jump.  They are calling it "The Lebron X," and are pricing the product at $315 per pair.

 I'm sorry, but unless Nike can GUARANTEE that my grandson can actually playbasketball as well as Lebron James, I'm afraid he won't be finding a pair of these under the Christmas tree this year!

Like I said, WTF??

All of the above photos and news come from Yahoo.
EVA

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Morning After!



Yes, yesterday was my birthday. .  I definitely planned to celebrate.

Okay, so the celebrating may have gotten a little bit out of hand. It started with the Godiva Chocolates Mr. Eva gave me as a gift...

But, Godiva chocolate leads to other evils, like Mountain Dew. I haven't had Mountain Dew in years. . .love that stuff! I discovered some time ago that I just can't handle caffeine. . .

It was ineveitable that caffeine would lead to another of my favorites--vodka gimlets--once we arrived at the restaurant, and well, give me a few of those, and I'm apt to throw caution to the wind.

Once caution was thrown, it was bound to be followed by the gauntlet, the inevitable "Dare ya!" and all hell breaks loose. Things get a little fuzzy here..or maybe it's foggy..weather report did say foggy on the coast last night....

The band is playing, "Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets. . .." Suddenly, the table is a stage, various and assorted garments are being shed, midst chants from the crowd..something like: "Take it off, Baby, take it all off!." (Things get much fuzzier from here!)


Police sirens in the distance, then doors crashing open, whistles blowing, bodies jostling against each other in a rush for the exits.

Some burly officer with Arnold Schwarzenegger's muscles and Patrick Dempsey's face is hoisting the fighting, kicking, pastie and G-string-clad crazy person that is me into the "paddy wagon". . . .


Well, it could have happened! I'm just sayin.'

I know I got as far as the Mountain Dew and Godiva Chocolate part, anyway!

Another uneventful birthday bites the dust!


(You guys are SO gullible!!)

Monday, August 20, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me!


Yep, it's my birthday; taking the day off.   Party tonight; details tomorrow!

EVA

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Silent Sunday

Grand nephew Tanner again!

EVA

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Saturday Silliness

 4th Husband at 80 !

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director,"
she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. after a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

(wait for it)



She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."



*******************
THE TOILET SEAT

 Julie had been after her husband for several weeks to paint the seat on the toilet.  Finally, he got around to doing it while she was out.  After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.     

She returned, entered the bathroom and undressed to take a shower.  Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet; as she tried to stand up, she realized the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.     About that time, Julie's husband got home and realized her predicament.  They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.

Finally, in desperation, he undid the toilet seat bolts.  Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and he drove her to the hospital emergency room.  The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her.  (Try to get a mental picture of this!) 

Julie tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,  "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. . . I just never saw one mounted and framed."

**************************


*************************




A successful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life
in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases
a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.

After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude he hears the drumming of hoof
beats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on
the horse.

"Hold it neighbor" the man says, "I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only six
miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for
you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing,
drinking, fighting... We'll have a great time".

Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and asks "How
should I dress?"

"Aw, don't matter" replied the neighbor, "Only gonna be the two of us".
**************

EVA

Friday, August 17, 2012

A Friday 'Fess-up

They say confession is good for the soul, so in the interest of healing my inner spirit, here goes:

I confess that I seem to be stuck in a rut where writing is concerned.  You may have noticed that I have cut back on my posting; where I used to write a new post every day I now only come up with material 5 days per week.  And one of those days, Saturday Silliness doesn't involve original material; I share jokes and cartoons that have come my way in hopes of giving you, my readers, a chuckle.  And then there's Silent Sunday, when I just post a favorite photo. That leaves 3 of 5 days to come up with something creative.
After 3 years of posting every day, I am struggling to type anything of consequence; have I maybe said it all?  Is the well empty?  I'm not sure.   I have two books started that are also at a standstill.  When I browse through my ebook "The Best of Wrestling With Retirement," I am pleased and proud of the work I have produced in the past.  I sometimes even marvel at my cleverness and wit.

The question is:  Where did that cleverness and wit go?  What happened to it?  Will I ever be that inspired again? 

Am I the only one struggling?  Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to recover my writing mojo?  Is there a magic writers' brew I could imbibe?  Come to think of it, several outstanding writers were alcoholics--maybe some serious drinking would help!  The only trouble with that theory is in summer heat, alcohol only makes me hotter---and not in a sexy, sultry kind of way; in a more in a sweaty arm-pit, hope-my-deodorant-holds-up-I-need-a-shower kind of way!

HELP!

eva


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

WTF Wednesday

Once again, I shake my head at items in the news that cause me to shake my head and ask, "What the F#ck?"


In Whitehall, Pennsylvania, a bride to be has been charged with murder for allegedly stabbing her groom-to-be just hours before the wedding.  In the heat of an argument, she stabbed him twice in the chest with a kitchen knife; one of the wounds punctured his heart.  When told the man had died, she cried and sobbed, "I didn't kill him on purpose!"

Now we know why it's considered bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day prior to the ceremony!

**************

Was it just me, or did the closing ceremony of the Olympics seem to go on, and on , and on......?  I'm still trying to figure out what anorexic-looking fashion models have to do with the wonderfully fit and muscular athletic men and women we'd been watch for the past couple of weeks.


*******************

In Rome, Maine, a New Hampshire man had been hunting a nuisance squirrel with a .22-caliber handgun, when he put the gun back in the holster which was fitted inside his pants and went back into his camp.  He sat down in his chair to watch tv.  He heard the gun go off and felt a burning sensation in his posterior.  He than realized he'd shot himself in the butt.  Friends helped him get to the hospital where the staff removed the bullet from his buttocks! 

I wondered if he was watching Jersey Shore and decided to shoot himself! He's very lucky that holster was in his rear pocket!

*************************
At a Fair in Ohio, and alligator trainer was demonstrating how quick the reptile's reflexes are by inserting his arm in the gator's mouth and removing it quickly; turns out the alligator's reflexes were faster than the trainer's and he got bit!  He survived with minor injuries. 

Gee...put your arm in an alligator's mouth and it might bite you......who knew?

*****************

Then I ran across this photo of Richard Simmons:



                                                 WTF?
***********

EVA

Monday, August 13, 2012

4-Legged Heroes of 9/11

9/11 Dogs Today
Nearly 100 dogs worked at the trade center ten years ago; only 13 are left.
THESE OLD WONDERFUL FACES SAY IT ALL...
These are the surviving dogs that worked the trade center that are still alive but retired; they are heroes, too.
Their eyes say everything you need to know about them. Just amazing creatures
True heroes of 9/11 still with us today
 
Moxie, 13, from Winthrop , Massachusetts , arrived with her handler, Mark Aliberti,
at the World Trade Center on the evening of September 11 and searched the site for eight days.
 
 
Tara, 16, from Ipswich , Massachusetts , arrived at the World Trade Center on the night of the 11th.
The dog and her handler Lee Prentiss were there for eight days.
 
 
Kaiser, 12, pictured at home in Indianapolis , Indiana , was deployed to the World Trade Center on September 11
and searched tirelessly for people in the rubble.
 

Bretagne and his owner Denise Corliss from Cypress , Texas ,
arrived at the site in New York on September 17, remaining there for ten days.
 
 
Guinness, 15, from Highland , California , started work at the site with Sheila McKee
on the morning of September 13 and was deployed at the site for 11 days.
 

Merlyn and his handler Matt Claussen were deployed to Ground Zero on September 24,
working the night shift for five days.

Red, 11, from Annapolis , Maryland , went with Heather Roche to the Pentagon from September 16
until the 27 as part of the Bay Area Recovery Canines.
 

Abigail, above, was deployed on the evening of September 17, searching for 10 days
while Tuff arrived in New York at 11:00 pm on the day of attack to start working early the next day.
 

Handler Julie Noyes and Hoke were deployed to the World Trade Center from their home in
Denver on September 24 and searched for five days.
 

Scout and another unknown dog lie among the rubble at Ground Zero,
just two of nearly 100 search and rescue animals who helped to search for survivors.
 
 
During the chaos of the 9/11 attacks, where almost 3,000 people died, nearly 100 loyal search and rescue dogs and their brave owners scoured Ground Zero for survivors. Now, ten years on, just 12 of these heroic canines survive, and they have been commemorated in a touching series of portraits entitled Retrieved. The dogs worked tirelessly to search for anyone trapped alive in the rubble, along with countless emergency service workers and members of the public.
Traveling across nine states in the U.S. from Texas to Maryland, Dutch photographer Charlotte Dumas, 34, captured the remaining dogs in their twilight years in their homes where they still live with their handlers, a full decade on from 9/11. Their stories have now been compiled in a book, called Retrieved, which was published on the tenth anniversary of the attacks. Noted for her touching portraits of animals, especially dogs, Charlotte wanted Retrieved to mark not only the anniversary of the September 2001 attacks, but also as recognition for some of the first responders and their dogs.
"I felt this was a turning point, especially for the dogs, who although are not forgotten, are not as prominent as the human stories involved," explained Charlotte, who splits her time between New York and Amsterdam. "They speak to us as a different species, and animals are greatly important for our sense of empathy and to put things into perspective."
*************************
 I was so touched by the above story and pictures when they came to me on email, I had to share.  If you are interested in Charlotte's book, .RETRIEVED, click here
 
 
I was not compensated for this post and I've never had any contact with Charlotte.  I just felt it was important to share this.
 
eva

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Silent Sunday

  

             My grand-nephew, Tanner.

EVA

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Saturday Silliness

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is .. . ... ..Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money....
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a driver's license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.


***************


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'
'
98,' she replied...
'Two years older than me.'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'


****************




One day, shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas,
Texas mowing his front lawn, as he always did.
A lady driving by in a big, shiny Cadillac stopped in front of his house,
lowered the window and asked,
" Excuse me, do you speak English ?"
Lee responded, " Yes Ma'am, I do "
The lady then asked, " What do you charge to do yard work? "
Lee said, " Well, the lady in this house lets me sleep with her ".

The lady hurriedly put the car into gear and sped off.
 
 
******************
 
 
School Daze  

Little Andy was at his first day of school.  His teacher, Mrs. Wyte advised the
class that each school day starts with the Pledge of Allegiance and instructs them
to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after her.

As Mrs. Whte started the recitation, she looked around the room.  Her eyes were drawn to
Andy who had his hand over the right cheek of his bottom.

"Andy, I can't continue until you put your hand over your heart," she demands.

Andy looks up and replies, "It is over my heart."

After severl more attempts to get Andy to put his hand over his heart, Mrs. Whyte
inquired, "Why do you think that is your heart, Andy?"

"Well, Miss," answered Andy, "because everytime my Grandma comes to visit, she
pats me there and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma never lies."
********************
EVA

Friday, August 10, 2012

Flaunting My Fiction Friday

Here we go with another bout of flagrant self-promotion!

This time, I've published a short story on Kindle and Nook.  The name of it is "The Summer Playground."  This one is PG rated and would qualify as young adult fiction.  The title refers to an ice cream shop/miniature golf course complex which serves as a teen summer vacation hangout. 

Tammy Carlo is home for the summer and trying to earn money for her second year of college.  She has her future planned out with a fellow student whose fraternity pin she wears on her shirt pocket.  Then the Playground's 'Cassanova' decides she will be his next conquest.

I published this with the intention of offering it as a freebie, hoping to entice readers to buy my other books, but both Amazon and Kindle require a minimum price of $0.99.  As a result, once I'd published it, I had no choice but to put that price tag on it.

If you have a Kindle and are interested in taking a peek at The Summer Playground, click here.

If you have a Nook and are intrested in taking a peek, click here.   ( I apologize that in this instance, I couldn't get my cover to publish.)

Thanks for reading!
EVA

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Time for Blueberries!

They say blueberries are good for improving your memory; unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of blueberries.  After seeing the photo below, I've decided I may need to rethink my stance!



That type of memory lapse on my part might cause all havoc to break loose.....car accidents, heart attacks, permanent self-inflicted blindness, and who knows what else!
EVA

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

WTF Wednesday!

The things that have made me say What the F#ck during the past couple of weeks:


Sixteen year-old Gabby Douglas wins two Gold Medals for the US and a bunch of "Twits" on Twitter are complaining because she didn't "get her hair done!"  Really?  That's all you can say?  How about, "Amazing! Congratulations! or, You go girl!"

***********************
A Vermont farmer, angry at being pulled over a recent pot arrest, took out his revenge on the local sheriff's department by driving his tractor over 7 of their vehicles, leaving them with no wheels available for pursuit!


The jaws of life had to be used to extract rifles, etc. from the car trunks.  Damage is estimated to be in the vicinity of $250,000 to $300,000.  The perpetrator was later apprehended and was being held on $15,000 bail.  His revenge may not be so sweet when he finds out all the charges against him.   I think anger management classes may be appropriate here!

****************


Internal documents of the Boy Scouts of America show evidence of more than 125 cases where men suspected of sexually abusing boys continued their molestations, despite a despite a blacklist meant to protect boys from abuse.  In several instances, the pedophiles were able to move from one troup to another, escaping detection because of lax background investigative procedures.

 This is the organization which bans gay men from being scout leaders.  Apparently pedophilia is okay, but loving adult male relationships are not.  Hmmmmm.....an attitude that has been prevalent until recently in many churches.

******************
EVA

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Forty-nine Years and Counting

How do you feel about high school class reunions?  A group in my graduating class love them, and have made a point of getting together every year for the past 4 years, after having reunions every 5 years before that. 

When the beloved classmate who did the bulk of the planning for our 45th reunion passed away a few days before the event, and we lost another within weeks after that get together, we decided to make the reunion an annual event.  We are fortunate to have a core group who operate as the planning committee and do the work of contacting people, collecting ticket money, and preparing wonderful feasts, and a couple who have been willing to offer their beautiful home as a gathering place. 
Below are some candid shots I took at the 49th reunion of Winslow High School class of 1963!
















                    Here's looking at you! 

This party was on August 4th; on August 5th we learned we've lost another dear member of our class.  All I can say is live every day as though it were your last; leave nothing unsaid that you want to say, and nothing undone that you want to do--because you never know which day WILL be your last.   Love you all, my friends from the class of 1963!

Do you go to your high school or college reunions?

EVA