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Saturday, January 26, 2013

Saturday Silliness

Here’s a real New England LOVE STORY!


George and Aggie lived on the cove just past Lewiston Tickle out on the peninsula. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. George asked Aggie if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to the general store and get him some smokes and beer. 
She asked him for some money, but he told her, "Nah, just put it on our tab, old man Stacey won't mind."

So Aggie walked across the ice, got the smokes and beer at the store and then walked back home across the cove. When she got home and gave George his smokes and his beer, she asked him, "George, you always tells me not to run up the tab at Stacey's store. Why didn't you just give me some money?"

George replied, "Well, Aggie, girl, I didn't want to send you out there with cash when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was yet!"

*********************************
Mule Trading



Curtis & Leroy saw an ad in the Starkville Daily in Starkville, MS. and bought a mule for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the mule the next day.
The next morning the farmer drove up and said,"Sorry, fellows, I have some bad news, the mule died last night."
Curtis & Leroy replied,"Well, then just give us our money back."
The farmer said,"Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
They said, "OK then, just bring us the dead mule."
The farmer asked, "What in the world ya'll gonna do with a dead mule?"
Curtis said, "We gonna raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead mule!"
Leroy said, "We shore can! Heck, we don't hafta tell nobody he's dead!"
A couple of weeks later, the farmer ran into Curtis & Leroy at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and asked.
"What'd you fellers ever do with that dead mule?"
They said,"We raffled him off like we said we wuz gonna do."
Leroy said,"Shucks, we sold 500 tickets fer two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."

The farmer said,"My Lord, didn't anyone complain?" 


Curtis said, "Well, the feller who won got upset. So we gave him his two dollars back."

Curtis and Leroy now work for the government.

They're overseeing the Bailout & Stimulus Programs.


Limit all U.S. politicians to two Terms.

One in office
One in prison
 ********************************

Dinner at an old friends home
An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your husband all those loving names.'
 The elderly lady hung her head, 'I have to tell you the truth,' she said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to death to ask the cranky old fart what his name is.'



*************************************

MISSING!




Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed

something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, “Mabel, do you know you've got a

suppository in your left ear?”

Mabel answered, “I have a suppository in my ear?” She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, “Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my

hearing aid.”

*******************************

EVA 

15 comments:

Clipped Wings said...

That last one's terrible, but pretty funny.

Rosemary Nickerson said...

I laughed and then groaned at the last one. Oh my!
Have a great weekend, Eva.

Brian Miller said...

oh my...i hope she doesnt put it back in her ear...sheesh...haha...and the love story up front too...ha...cant lose the money you know...smiles.

fishducky said...

All winners today!!

Theresa said...

OMG the Mule Trading one is priceless! LMAO over here. Love your Saturday Silliness, Eva!

Jeannine Breton said...

Oh my.......!!!! Speechless.

Holly Parper said...

Hahaha, I love George and Affirm but is like to punch George in the nose. Totally love the hearing aide joke...it literallyade me laugh out loud!

Holly

Home Jobs by MOM said...

I love the love story. Hehe :)

Paula Jones said...

For what it's worth Starkville is an hour away from where I live, I believe that story! :)
Love the last one as well!
I always look forward to SS!
Paula

Al Penwasser said...

I hope she doesn't fart. That sucker could kill someone.

Stephen Hayes said...

He wasn't sure how thick the ice was? I'm tearing up.

Charlotte Crawley said...

I don't know which one made me laugh the hardest.

River said...

Right then. When I eventually get a hearing aid, I'm keeping it in a box with big red "hearing aid" marked on the lid! And hope my eyesight holds up.
I love the name Lewiston Tickle.
Curtis and Leroy are a couple of entrepeneurs for sure.

Sue said...

These are even funnier than usual, all of them!

I especially loved the second.

=)

Pat said...

Curtis and Leroy were sure smarter than they looked! Ha ha!