Saturday Silliness

   Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.  Over the years, they had shared all kinds

of activities and adventures.  Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week 

to play cards.

One day they were playing cards and one said to the other, "Now don't get mad at me, I know we've 

been friends for a long, long time.  No matter how hard I think about it, I can't seem to remember your 

name.  Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her for at least 3 minutes, then she asked, "How soon do you need to know?"

*********************

***********************************

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' 

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'   The old man replied, 'its fart football.' 

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...' 

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' 

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' 

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man. 

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed. 

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' 

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides!'

***********************

A wealthy blonde buys a Ferrari and after two weeks returns to the dealership with a complaint.

"This car runs beautifully in the day time, but I can't get it to go anywhere at night," she explained.

The salesman gets in the car starts it up, drives it for a bit, and returns.   "I couldn't find anything wrong with it," he said.  "Are you sure you're using the right gears?"

"Of course I am!" she responded.  "I'm not stupid!  I put it in "D" for Day and "N" for Night!"

********************


EVA