Saturday, March 2, 2013

Saturday Silliness

                   Old Texas cowboy in a pharmacy    
Cowboy: "Give me three packets of condoms, please."
Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"
Cowboy: "Nah. She ain't that ugly.




I'm  sure that you have seen pharmaceutical  advertising in doctor's offices on everything  from tissues to note pads This one should get  First prize....

I  e-mailed it to my Chinese doctor friend;  he  e-mailed  back: "If light stay on more than 4 hour,  call erectrician "



What the teacher says and (what the teacher means)  
1. Your son has a remarkable ability in gathering needed information from his 
(He was caught cheating on a test). 
2. Karen is an endless fund of energy and viability. 
(The hyperactive monster can't stay seated for five minutes). 
3. Fantastic imagination! Unmatched in his capacity for blending fact with 
(He's definitely one of the biggest liars I have ever met). 
4. Margie exhibits a casual, relaxed attitude to school, indicating that high 
expectations don't intimidate her. 
(The lazy thing hasn't done one assignment all term). 
5. Her athletic ability is marvelous. Superior hand-eye coordination. 
(The little creep stung me with a rubber band from 15 feet away).  



Al Penwasser said...

Reminds me of an old joke.
An older man goes into a drugstore and brings a box of condoms to the register.
He asks the clerk, "How much for these?"
The clerk replies, "That'll be $7.17 with tax."
"Oh, hell, I don't need tacks to hold them on, boy."

River said...

I love the teacher's remarks and the game of quoits too.
Ha Ha @ Al Penwasser.

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

I seriously might save these report card comments. Sometimes it's hard to find the right thing to say!

Brian Miller said...

call paper are hurting my sides this morning eva...

fishducky said...

Funny again, lady!!

Along These Lines ..... said...

I'm being to detect a theme.

Stephen Hayes said...

Erectrician! You made me spit out my gum I laughed so hard. I just crawled under my desk to find it. It's a mess down there.

Jayne Martin said...

That Viagra light-switch cover is a hoot! And the ring-toss cartoon -- I actually found that as a birthday card and gave it to a friend. I don't think her husband was much amused.

Unknown Mami said...

Oh that naughty cowboy.

Sue said...