Saturday, April 27, 2013

Saturday Silliness

At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower 
girl and her young escort to come down the aisle. 
 The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why 
he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear." 


Wife texts husband on a cold winter's morning: "Windows frozen , won't open." 
Husband texts back:  "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it." 
 Wife texts back 5 minutes later:  "Computer really screwed up now." 


Pearly Gates
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing dark hoodies, and sagging pants, arrive.
St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I'll be right back."
St. Peter goes over to God's chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter:
"How many times do I have to tell you? You can't be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!"
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God's chambers and says, "Well, they're gone."

"The guys wearing hoodies?" asked God.
"No. The Pearly Gates."
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the  mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the
opposite bank'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
'You ARE on the other side.'


Brian Miller said...

i have this image stuck in the head of her trying to figure out how to crap in the

River said...

Oh no! Not the Pearly Gates!
I just had to laugh at the blondes.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
rolling in the aisles again - trying to hide from the bear!!! LOL.

Gail said...

Once again, you have me smiling. Thank you.

Stephen Hayes said...

Love the ring bear story. When our son was five he was a ring bear at a wedding and he burst into tears when the ring was taken away and put on the bride's hand. Our son thought he got to keep the ring.

fishducky said...

FUNNY, just as I had expected!!

Jeannine Breton said...

Too funny...never get tired of that blonde!!!

Alessandra said...

Blonde jokes are the best! :)

Merlesworld said...

Very funny, I like a good laugh in the morning.

Sue said...

These are all clever, Eva. Every one.