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Saturday, May 11, 2013

Saturday Silliness

A Husband is Down in Aisle 5!!!!


A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, they carry

on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream

and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
That's him on Aisle 5.

********************

Sensually Subtle ...


"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," He said.

She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled
 out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

"Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," He said.
She gave me another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her panties
 and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 30,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," He said, intrigued.

"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."

*****************************************************************

Mystery Solved......


      Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken  ship.
      "Follow me, son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
      "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

      "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."
      And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did.

      When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first?
      Why did we swim around and around them?"
        His wise father replied, "Because they taste better if you scare the shit out of them first."


**********************************************************

EVA

8 comments:

Merlesworld said...

OH very funny, sharks are much smarter than I have given them credit for.
As for the old retired fellow he should not let his wife buy vitamin tablets he might stand a chance of winning then.
You are a funny person.
Merle............

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari oM
hhhhhhaaaaaaahhhahaaaaaahhaaaaaa.... laughing all the way to the reef!

Brian Miller said...

i didnt laugh at the first one...i didnt laugh at the first one...i didnt laugh at....you think she will believe me? smiles

River said...

I love coming here, you always make me laugh.

The Dose of Reality said...

Hahahhahaha. LOVE that first one with your graphic!! All of these are great! It's so nice to start off the weekend with a giggle!! :) --Lisa

Stephen Hayes said...

That first one is a good example how how perfect logic cannot save a husband. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.

fishducky said...

Loved the 2nd & 3rd ones--never heard them before!!

Sue said...

2 and 3 win the day!

=)