It’s swimsuit time, Oh my. I can hardly wait to try
My luck at finding a bathing suit that doesn’t make me cry.
I’ll tug and pull and suck everything in,
Which is bound to increase my double chin!
Once piece or two, chartreuse or ecru;
Multi-color or plain blue?
Pick a modest tank suit or bikini,
Or the latest, “Tankini?”
This much I know
(The mirror told me so!):
This butt does not belong
In anything like a thong!
The choices are many
But I doubt that there’s any
Shapes or color dyes
That can flatter thunder thighs!
What would work for me
Is something shoulder to knee—
This plump Baby Boomer
Needs a swimdress with bloomer!
Since such a suit can’t be found,
And I looked all around,
With last year’s suit I’ll stay
And call it a day!
an original poem by EVA Gallant