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Saturday, July 27, 2013

Saturday Silliness




WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS...............
 
 
I was visiting my niece last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
 
 
"This is the 21st century," she said. 'I don't waste money on newspapers.
Here, use my IPad."
 
 I can tell you this……………………
 
 
That fly never knew what hit him.

***********************

GETTING OLDER 



A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 
"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication
 
you prescribed has to be taken
 for the rest of my life?" 

"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told her. 

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 
"I'm wondering, then,
 just how serious is my condition 
because this prescription is marked
 
'NO REFILLS'..
" 

**************************

The Traffic Stop

 A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"

 He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."

 The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."

 The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

 At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?" 

*****************


3 vampires walk into a bar. The first one says to the bartender " I will have
 a shot of blood" the second one says : I will have a shot of blood" the third 
vampire says " I will have a shot of plasma" 
 
 
The bartender says " Let me get this straight 2 bloods and a blood light?" 

*******************

EVA

9 comments:

Brian Miller said...

ha. oops...when you get the no refill one you better get busy on that bucket list...lol on hitting the fly with the iPad as well...ha...

have a wonderful saturday eva

rosaria williams said...

I don't know how you do this every week!

Julia miller said...

hahaa.. i like the forst one. of course technology is spreading its tentacles at a faster rate so instead of wasting paper, using an ipad for new makes sense.. :)

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Xae Nafew said...

That traffic stop one had me laughing hysterically and reading it out loud to my husband :D
This was great, Eva!

Stephen Hayes said...

Blood Light? Good one. Thanks for the laughs.

River said...

2 bloods and a blood light, that's hilarious. I'm currently reading a series of books about Vampires.
I sincerely hope the i-pad survived.

Al Penwasser said...

The traffic stop one was perfect!

Sharon Hodge said...

That is funny! I love the jokes when the police pull the car over and everybody has a funny comment... Way to start my day.

Sharon
Make It Or Fix It Yourself!

Eva Gallant said...

Brian: Happy Saturday to you, too.

rosaria: I have help; friends send me material for my Saturday posts.

Julia: Soon there may be no more newspapers!

Xae: Glad I could tickle your funny bone!

Stephen: The Blood Light one was one of my favorites, too!

River: The fly sure didn't!

Al: Yeah, what else could go wrong!

Sharon: glad I could start your day on a humorous note!