Followers

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Saturday Silliness

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His mates at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.’ So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?'

'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 90.'

*********************




Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.

With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel
appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.'

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a
large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

'Gee, Mum,' he exclaimed. 'For me?'

'Just take two,' Brenda replied. 'The rest are for your father.'

************************


There was a magician on a ship. He went through his tricks all day. Then the 
captain's parrot always told the audience what really made the tricks happen. 
 
 "He's using a different hat" 
 
 "There's a hole in the table" the parrot would say. 
 
 The magician always got mad but couldn't do anything, after all it was the 
captain's parrot. 
 
 Then the ship sank. 
 
 The magician was hanging onto a plank and unfortunately was stuck with the 
parrot. They glared at each other for days. 
 
 On the sixth day the parrot finally says "I give up, where's the ship?" 

***********************




DEATH
  • While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
  •  
  • Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
  • Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
  •  
  • The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said:
  • 'Glory be unto the Father, and unto the Son, and into the hole he goes.'

*******************************
EVA

7 comments:

Brian Miller said...

pancakes....i know what i am having for breakfast...smiles.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
heh hehhehhehhehhehehehehehehehe
(breathe YAM)..... "where's the ship?" HAH! Oh you are a gem on Saturdays Eve. Thanks!!!! YAM xxx

Stephen Hayes said...

Pancakes will do it? I'm reaching for my Aunt Jemima mix right now.

Alessandra said...

'Where's the ship?", that's the best one..now gotta go make some pancakes...:)

River said...

I love that burial prayer and I think Bob might find himself with a very p****ed off trophy wife in a few years when he doesn't kick the bucket soon enough.
Pancakes eh? I wonder if you could market them online as 100% drug free penis enlargement.

Eva Gallant said...

Brian: good luck with that!

Yamini: You are such a faithful commenter!

Stephen: Does your wife know about you and your Aunt Jamima???

Alessandra: Glad you liked them.

River: Let me know how your sales go!

The Dose of Reality said...

Bwahahahahaha. I wasn't sure where that first one was going, but it got me. Bwahahaha. Always love the Saturday Silliness!! --Lisa