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Saturday, August 24, 2013

Saturday Silliness

Words from a Pilot

During a commercial airline flight an experienced Air Force Pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.
   When the baby began crying during
  the descent for landing, the mother began nursing the infant as discreetly as possible.  
                                                               
The pilot pretended not to notice, and, upon disembarking, he gallantly                                          offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, "that's a good looking baby, and he sure was hungry!"

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Air Force Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed,
"And all these years, I've been chewing gum." 

********************** 
                                                         Unannounced Dinner Guest

 A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. 
 
His wife screams at him as his friend stands there listening, "My hair & makeup 
are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my 
pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you 
bring him home for?"  
 
"Because he's thinking of getting married." 

***********************



A man walks into the psychiatrist’s office with a zucchini up his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a breadstick in his right ear. He says, “What is wrong with me?

The psychiatrist replies, “You're not eating properly.”

*********************

                                               Jonah and the Whale


A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was 
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale 
is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that 
Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a whale could not 
swallow a human, it was impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven 
I will ask Jonah". 
 
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" 
 
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him!" 

**************************

IDIOT SIGHTINGHow would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE  Lay - a?? NO  Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.  Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha". When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." 
***********************************
EVA 

7 comments:

Rosemary Nickerson said...

Eva, you've made a good start to my day. Happy Weekend to you too!!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
I look forward to my Saturday nights with Eva (Mumbai time!) YAM xx

Stephen Hayes said...

That little girl in the whale discussion shouldn't set her sight on a good grade in that class.

fishducky said...

Funny, Eva!! Are you happy you're a "ducky"?

Pat said...

Not eating properly! Ha! I'm eating TOO properly 'cause I always seem to find my mouth! ;)

Merlesworld said...

You are a funny lady.
Merle.........

River said...

the dash don't be silent? well gosh, that means for years all the girls I've known called Lee-Anne should be LeedashAnne? and AnnedashMarie? BobbidashJo?

Okay, I'll stop laughing now.
Maybe.
Nope, still giggling, at Jonah and the whale and the pilot. And the psychiatrist too.