Wednesday, August 7, 2013

WTF Wednesday

How fast the weeks fly by!  It's What the F*ck Wednesday again, in the blink of an eye!  That's the day when I share with you those news items that cause me to scratch my head and ask myself, "What the f*ck???

Time for a 12-stop Program?

Geraldo Ramos, 64, of the Dominican Republic, woke up from a night of drinking wondering where his wiener went!  According to neighbors, Ramos was attacked by a dog while wandering around naked and drunk.  Geraldo does not believe that story, but he doesn't remember what happened to his missing "member."  He does recall being rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery and when he woke up, found a catheter placed where his pilfered penis should have been.  Sadly, neither the dog nor the dong have been found.  Ramos says he has learned his lesson and is giving up alcohol.

Better late than never, I guess.


Man Attempts to Smuggle Humming Birds
A Dutch man was discovered trying to smuggle humming birds from French Guiana into Brazil by taping them to the inside of his pants.  A customs officer at the airport noticed something strange about the shape of the smuggler's crotch.  Upon inspection, he found 12 humming birds wrapped in paper and taped to the inside of the man's pants.  The birds seemed none the worse for wear and seemed confused but uninjured.  No explanation was given as to why the man was trying to bring in the contraband.

Talk about a hummer!


A Turtle-burger?

A Chinese man tried to sneak his pet turtle on board a plan by placing it between two buns, wrapping it, putting it in a Kentucky Fried Chicken bag, and calling it a sandwich.  The security officer figured something was up when he saw a leg sticking out of the bun as the sandwich went through the xray machine.  When security asked to examine the package more closely, the smuggler said, "There's no turtle in there, it's just a hamburger." which immediately confirmed the officer's suspicions!  Finally, the turtle lover was allowed to leave his pet with a friend at the airport.

I didn't even know Kentucky Fried Chicken sold hamburgers!


That's enough head-scratching for this week!



River said...

Those poor hummingbirds! And I'm kind of sorry for the man who lost his sausage to a dog.

Brian Miller said...

if a dog bit my wiener off...i would be happy not to remember it...geez....

The Dose of Reality said...

These are definitely some of your CRAZIEST ones yet! I honestly don't know which one is the worst! Probably the dog one!-Ashley

Al Penwasser said...

Whew! I did a lot of drinking this weekend, too. But at least when I woke up, I still had my junk.
As far as where weiner went? I think he's running for mayor of NYC.
Good golly, I hope that idiot never goes away. He's a walking punchline.

John M said...

This is a great collection of stories. The one about the man losing his member made me cringe.

Pat said...

These WERE the wildest yet I believe! I LOVE Al's comments! What a riot!

A hummer indeed! LOL!

Turtle sandwich? Seriously?

The first question I would have asked upon seeing the man with the missing wiener, "Has Lorena Bobbit been released from prison?"

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Lordy Eva, just when you think it can'g get wierder!! The hummingbird one gets me - I mean... What the...?!!! YAM xx

rosaria williams said...

Gosh,my world is so sane!

fishducky said...

One of your BEST WTF's, Eva!!

Stephen Hayes said...

Talk about a hummer? Thanks for the laugh.

Eva Gallant said...

River: there was no explanation given as to why that guy was trying to smuggle the humming birds, either!

Brian: It's a dog-eat-wiener-world out there!

Ashley: I can't help it; the world keeps getting more and more strange!

Al: So glad you still have your "junk!" Between Wiener the peter tweeter repeater and Spitzer the hooker booker, NYC provides standup comics with lots of material!

John: Understandable! It was a cringe-worthy story!

Pat: I agree...weird! And Al can always be counted on for some witty repartee!

Yamini: There never seems to be a shortage of material for my WTF blog post!

rosaria: You mean there's no excitement of that sort in Port Orford?

fishducky: Thanks so much!

Stephen: You are very welcome!

Jayne Martin said...

OMFG!!!! The hummers! I treasure hummers. I want that guy flung into the street naked with a pack of hungry dong-eating dogs!

Alessandra said...

AH ah a weiner got his weiner...that's what he gets fro drinking. The humming birds though...that's a :)

A Beer For The Shower said...

If you drink so much that the next day you wake up with your wiener missing and you don't remember a bit of it... it's time to admit you have a serious drinking problem.

Mesina said...

I am a bit baffled by it all really! WTF?! Ok the weiner issue is just a bit can you NOT remember?! Hummingbirds in your pants? My ex is Dutch, I can believe that. :P

Sue said...

These are even beyond your usual stories! And that first one is downright disturbing.

You find the best material.


Eva Gallant said...

Jayne: There was no mention of his purpose in smuggling them, but they did say the humming birds were none the worst for wear!

Alessandra: I suppose it could have been a wiener dog! lol

Messina: Your ex had humming birds in his pants?

Sue: Thanks! I try!