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Saturday, November 16, 2013

Saturday Silliness

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles


It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the 
flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: "Would 
you like dinner?" 
 
"What are my choices?" asked the passenger.   
 
"Yes or No," replied the attendant 

**************************
After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes.
As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train”. “Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting.”
“No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”.
“No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”.
“Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!”
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.
When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone,
“Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed.”
Sue doesn’t use her cell phone in public any longer.
(from Carol Wyer, via fishducky)

***************************


*Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Hans is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.  

One day, they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said: 
DA END ISS NEAR! TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, 

"Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!" 
 
From the curve, they hear screeching tires and a big splash.
 
Shaking his head, Rev. Ole says, "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'.
"Yaa," Pastor Hans agrees; then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, Bridge Out?"

************************ 

Don't forget my book promotion!   You just have today and tomorrow left to download your free copy of

 Welcome to Singles Night!  Click on the title, or miss out!

EVA

9 comments:

Merlesworld said...

I flown with British airways and that could happen.
I like the phone story, I will have to remember that one.
Merle...........

Rosemary Nickerson said...

"bridge out"...!!!!! Hilarious!

Stephen Hayes said...

Love the one about Sue talking too loudly on the cell phone. Very funny. I hope you're having a great weekend.

Terra said...

The jokes are too cute, and I have been tempted to take action with loud cell phone users, not that funny way though.

River said...

Your "find dancing partners" "40+ dating in Australia advertisement is over the words on that last joke. Please tell me what the sign should say.

River said...

Never mind; I've just read Rosemary Nickerson's comment.

Pat said...

LOVE the phone one! Priceless!

Have a good weekend!

Eva Gallant said...

Merle: Sad but true..flying is not what it used to be.

Rosemary: glad I tickled your funny bone!

Stephen: Hope you are, too.

Terra: Glad you liked them.

River: Unfortunately, I can't control the ads, and they are always changing.. glad you were able to get the punch line!

Pat; You have a good one, too!

Sue said...

The cell phone one is hilarious.

=)