Followers

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Saturday Silliness


A new business was opening, and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him 
flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site, and the 
owner read the card, which said, "Rest in Peace." 
 
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. 
 
After he told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the 
florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than 
getting angry, you should imagine this: Somewhere there is a funeral taking 
place, and they have flowers with a note saying, 
'Congratulations on your new location.'" 

*******************


According to the Alaskan Department of Fish and game, while both male and 
female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop 
their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid 
December. Female reindeer retain their antlers 'till after they give birth 
in the spring. 
 
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's 
reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen had to be 
female. 
 
We should've known! Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red 
velvet suit all around the world in one night, and NOT GET LOST. 

***************



**********************




Here's the reason baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs" and "Huggies," while undergarments for old people are called "Depends": When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em and Hug'em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will! Glad to get that straightened out.
 
***********************************
EVA

3 comments:

rosaria williams said...

Oh Lord!
Got love that last one!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Happy weekend Eva! A great laugh as always - particularly loved the photo gag.

Very glad, too, that you found your way to my blog... a couple of folk have mentioned difficulty, though "tickling Rekha's tummy (photo)" ought to bring up my Google page and then the 'about' page has the links to the blogs. I will take this chance, if you don't mind though to put a link in to MY MENO MEMOIRS..., where the tale of my shifting of continents has been getting slowly unveiled.

That last was not a reference to 'dependence'... &*> Hope you are staying warm this winter! YAM xx

Stephen Hayes said...

Thanks for explaining "Depends" for me. This information will become useful all too soon. Take care.