Followers

Sunday, March 31, 2013


HAPPY EASTER!

eva

Friday, March 29, 2013

Flaunting my Favorites

I have favorites.  I have favorite tv shows, favorite sports teams, and favorite blogs.

 I'd like to pretend that I'm above it; that all television is too shallow and unsophisticated for me with the exception of the classical music channel, but I'd be talking bullshit out and out lying.  I am shallow and unsophisticated!  Some of you may walk away from this post, disillusioned about me.  I know up until now I've been held in awe high esteem for my intelligence, taste, and class.  Well, all good things must come to an end!

Reality TV:



I love The Bachelor and The Bachelorette series; I'm hooked.  I never miss a segment.  I know, sometimes it's hokey and overly dramatic.  No matter; I have to watch.


American Ninja Warrior is another one I like.  I haven't been a faithful follower, but when I happen across it, I stop and pay attention.  I'm amazed at the athleticism, strength and sheer guts of the contestants!



I've been known to watch Project Runway, Toddlers and Tiaras, and the Real Housewives of NYC on occasion, although not with the same fervor as the Bachelor/Bachelorette.  I have to admit, Toddlers and Tiaras I watch once in a while because I think it is so bizarre!  Mothers and Dads pimping out their daughters--spending thousands of dollars in the process.  There's something sick about it.

Sports



Then there's my love affair with the Boston Celtics.  I make no apologies for the fact that I love every one of them and never miss watching their games...even when they are losing, I'm there, cheering them on!  Tuesday night, they beat Cleveland by one point in the final seconds of the game--I was screaming and jumping up and down with excitement!  Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, Brandon Bass, Jeff Green, Avery Bradley, Courtney Lee, Jason Terry, Jordan Crawford, Rajon Rondo, Jared Sullinger, Chris Wilcox, D.J. White, Terrence Williams, Shavlik Randolph---they are all my heroes and I can't get enough of watching them in action!


The Boston Red Sox are also in my heart, although I have to admit, I don't watch them until the NBA playoffs are over.  Last year, they had a bad season, and I confess that I deserted them.  I'm going to return to Red Sox Nation this year, hoping that their new manager and former pitching coach John Farrell can get them back on track.  I'll be watching, Big Poppi!

Movies

Some of my favorite movies?  Three Weddings and a Funeral, The Wedding Crashers, and Shawshank Redemption.


Well, that's the real me, exposed.  I actually admitted to being trailer trash a long time ago, so those of you who've been with me shouldn't be too surprised.  I hope I don't witness an exodus of followers, now that I've flaunted my favorites!

EVA

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

WTF Wednesday

Once again, people in the news have caused me to scratch my head and ask "What the f*ck???"

Here you go:


Lawrence Urban, a massage therapist in Cascade Township, Michigan, is facing criminal charges for a massage he performed on a female client.  The woman complained to police that he touched her inappropriately during her session.  Urban did admit to having touched her "lady parts."  Jail time may not be the happy ending he had in mind.

Okay, so maybe he "rubbed her the wrong way,"  but seriously, ladies--would you let the guy pictured above give you a rubdown in the first place????

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A former high school student in Michigan was arrested and convicted for adulterating a food item after he put semen in a bottle of Ice Mint breath mints drops and distributed it to students as a senior prank.
It was a costly prank, as he was suspended from school, lost a college scholarship, and an internship at  Dow Chemical Company.

What is the younger generation coming to????

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A lady in Houston, Texas felt trapped in her home when a swarm of 8000 bees gathered on her truck tire.  She called animal control officers but received no help.  Finally she called a local news station, and they were able to contact a bee expert who came to  her home, gathered the bees into a cardboard box and took them away to find them a new home.  Apparently, it is not unusual when colonies get over-crowded for swarms to look for new digs.

 At least that's the buzz....

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Richard Jackson carved this bush into the shape of a human hand with the middle finger extended.  He has had this decorative shrub on his lawn for eight years.  Recently a single complaint was filed, and now the town council has contacted him and demanded that he alter the bush, stating it is a public offense.  However, his neighbors have started a "Save the Bush" campaign, in a "gesture of support" of  his pledge to keep the shrub as is!

 I can see their point.

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Enough head scratching for this week!

EVA



Sunday, March 24, 2013

Silent Sunday


Our Granddaughter Rose

EVA

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Saturday Silliness


Two little old ladies, Edna and Ida were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Edna, leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10.00 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!'

'You're on!' said Ida, holding up a $10.00 bill.

So Edna slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.  Finally, the smiling Edna came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.

'What happened?' asked her waiting friend.

'I won $1,000 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement ...!!!'

***********************************




An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally 
decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". 
 
The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was 
she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." 
 
After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone 
and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer 
to the marriage proposal. 
 
"Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, 
but I couldn't remember who it was." 

*****************************


THE RAISE!!!

Employee:Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?

Boss:Sure, come on in… What can I do for you?

Employee:Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years

.Boss:Yes

.Employee:I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise.
I currently have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first

.Boss:A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time

.Employee:I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro-activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade..

Boss:Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain drain,  I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time.
How does that sound?

Employee:Great! It's a deal Thank you, sir

Boss:Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies are after you?

Employee:Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company!


***********************



The Defective Parrot.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.

It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way.

I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies.

'You actually understood and answered me. !'

'I got every word,' says the parrot.

'I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks.

'Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook.

You can't see it, because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy.

'You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you.?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy.

I'm especially good at ornithology.

You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.

'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me, cause I don't have any feet.

You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!'

The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational.

He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.

The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing.

'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your
wife, and the postman.'

'What are you talking about,?' asks the guy.

'When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door,
in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously.

'THEN what happened?'

'Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began
petting her all over,' reported the parrot.

'NO!' he exclaims, 'and she let him.?'

'Yes.

Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and
began to kiss her all over.'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?'

DUNNO?!? I got an erection, and fell off my perch.!'

**************************

EVA

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

WTF Wednesday

It's that time again!  When the items in the news make me scratch my head and ask, "What the f*ck?"  Here are this week's head-scratchers:



In Haverfordwest, Wales, a couple of 23-year-olds were arrested for engaging in oral sex in the Lloyd's Bank lobby.  The couple "got off" with a suspended sentence but will have to undergo alcohol counseling an perform community service.

As Jay Leno put it, "It was a typical bank transaction:  a deposit, a withdrawal, followed by a loss of interest."

********************




A 27-year-old Scranton, PA woman was arrested and held on $25,000 bail, after 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to transport heroin, and $51.22 in her vagina.  That is one HUGE Hoo-Hah!  And I wonder, does heroin in you hoo-hah make you high?

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A salon owner in Phoenix AZ, was forced to curtail the "Fish Spa" portion of her business.  She had been offering pedicures where fish were used to nibble dead skin of the customer's feet.  The state board of cosmetology deemed the practice unsafe because the fish could not be sanitized between treatments.  Now there's a toe-tickling tale!

***********************************

Police in Denver, Colorado are looking for the "Thong Bandit."  The perp has been ducking into alleys to disrobe and then "flashing" women.  In some cases he was seen wearing a pink thong.  The problem  officers have encountered is trying to find witnesses who can give a description of the "Flasher's" FACE.  Apparently the focus of witnesses has been elsewhere!


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That's all the head scratchers for today!
 Thanks to the Huffington Post for the above items..
EVA

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Silent Sunday


My sister Jenny's grandkids:  Abby, Emily, and Tanner



EVA

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Saturday Silliness

Victims of the Sequestration?



A sweet old couple, both well into their 70's, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' 

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' 

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking 
for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely
 nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says
 good bye. 

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex
 therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.  The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse
 with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what 
are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything. She's married; so we can't go to her house.
I'm married; and we can't go to my house.  The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139.
We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.  
We have to stay within our budget!

***************************************


Priorities



A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, 
and said to her, "My husband is going to be very angry I stopped at a yard 
sale." 
 
 "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains you found," 
her friend replied. 
 
 "Normally, yes," she said. "But he just broke his leg, and he's waiting for me 
to take him to the hospital to have it set." 
 

*******************************


Cheap Cooling



A man died and went to heaven, where he met St. Peter sitting at a desk in the 
middle of a great hall. On the walls were millions of clocks. "What are those 
used for?" he asked.

 St. Peter said, "There's one of them for every living person on Earth ticking out the 
days of their lives." 
 
 The newcomer noticed that the hands of some of the clocks were moving faster 
than others. "Why do they move at different speeds," he asked.  
 
St. Peter said, "Every time you tell a lie you lose one hour of your life and 
your clock speeds up."  
 
The newcomer looked around and then asked, "Do you have one of these for my 
congressman?"  
 
St. Peter answered, "Sure! It's in the back room. We use it for a ceiling fan." 
 

*********************************
Wishful Thinking



A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.  He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi.  You know, I just hate drawing welfare.  I'd really rather have a job.  I don't like taking advantage of the system. . .getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent.  We just got a job opening from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.  You'll have to drive her around in his Mercedes, and he will supply all of your clothes.  Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.

You will also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips.  This is rather awkward to say, but you will also be expected to satisfy her sexual needs, and as a 23-year-old she has a rather strong sex drive.'

The guy, just plain wide-eyed said, "You're bullshitting me!"

The social worker said, "Yes, but you started it!"

'
********************************

EVA

Friday, March 15, 2013

I'm an Addict

Me:  Hello, my name is Eva, and I'm Addict.

Game Addicts Group: Hi Eva.

Me:  It all started just a few weeks ago.  I was browsing around facebook and saw that a friend of mine had scored 280,000 playing the game Bejeweled. Every day when I logged in, I saw someone else had scored big in Bejeweled.  Beside the person's name was a pretty blue icon with a red star in it.  It was tempting, a tease.

Game Addicts Group:  Yeah, Facebook is a known pusher.  Lures you in with the promise of game fame, high scores, awards and badges.

Me:  I couldn't resist.  I found my self going to visit the game site.  "I'll just try it," I thought.  "One game won't hurt.  How wrong I was.

GAG:  That what we thought.  We, too, were wrong. 

Me:  That day, I hearned my 25,000 point badge, my 50,000 point badge, and my 100,000 point badge. I signed off, and thought everything was fine.  The next day, when I turned on my computer, I felt a little twinge of curiousity.  Could I earn more points?  My friend had earned 280,000--she was no smarter than I!  I went back to Facebook, clicked on games, and was back at it again.  I started playing again; I had trouble hitting more than 25,000;  I kept trying.  Finally, I reached 185,000.  Euphoric, I logged off and went to bed.  It was 3:00 am!

GAG:  So you were losing sleep, already?

Eva:  Yeah, Bejeweled grabbed on to me fast.  Then, the unthinkable happened;  When I went back to Facebook, my score had been erased!  I broke into a sweat!  I had to replicate it.  I tried and tried, with no success.  The best I attained, after several days effort was 171,000.  Then Facebook did it again; they erased all scores, and I had to start again from scratch.  I'm playing Bejeweled in my sleep.  There's a horn that sounds over and over to warn you that time is nearly up.  The other night I was hearing it in my dreams...I thought it was a tsunami warning and was frantically trying to find a boat to get far away from shore and supposedly out of danger.  I woke up exhausted.  I find myself thinking in threes......eat three of the same cookies; buy three bottles of ketchup; lather, rinse, and repeat in the shower.....I know I need to quit, cold turkey.  Whoops, gotta go.  Hubby just beat my highest score!


Cartoons by Earthmuffin and T.McCracken.humor.com

This is a re-post.  I had kicked the habit for a while, but, now I've fallen off the wagon.....I need help!


EVA

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

WTF Wednesday

It's that time again, when I share with you the news items I uncover that make me scratch my head and ask "What the f*ck?




Carol Lee Leazer-Hardman, 39, and Michael Condor, 35, chopped up razor blades and put the pieces in doughnuts they had purchased at Smith's Food and Drug Store in Draper, Utah.  Then the couple went ahead and ate the doughnuts, as well as sharing them with one of their co-workers at The Dollar Store.

The couple were arrested for filing a false police report and also charged with aggravated assault for knowingly feeding the doughnuts to their co-worker.  When investigators found there were "holes" in their dangerous doughnut story, despite the fact that X-rays showed razor blade pieces in their stomachs, the couple admitted to having done the deed themselves in hopes of obtaining a cash settlement from the store.

Yeah, that was a smart idea!
*****************************

According to a study at Munster University in Germany, sex is a better cure for headaches than pain-killers.  Research discovered that more than 50% of migraine sufferers improved when they engaged in sex during the spell.  

Well, ladies, there goes the "not tonight, I have a headache" excuse!

********************

A 22-year 0ld Oklahoma woman was arrested for trying to sell her children on Facebook.  She allegedly was offering her 10 month-old for $1000, or a package deal including her 2 year-old for $4000.  Both children have been taken into state custody, and she is now in jail on $40,000 bond.  What were her plans for the money?  To bail her boyfriend out of jail!

**********************

A 19-year-old mother put her 5 week old baby, strapped in his car seat, on the roof of her car.  She then forgot he was there and drove away, oblivious when the car seat slid off the roof and landed in the middle of an intersection.  Fortunately, the baby was unhurt, and is now with  Child Protective Services.  Police believe the mother was high on marijuana which may have affected her judgement.   Ya' think?????

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That's all the head-scratching items for today!

Thanks to the Huffington Post and Everydayfamily.com, my sources for todays items.
*************************
EVA

Monday, March 11, 2013

On Losing My Mind

As I get older , age  , achieve more maturity, I've noticed I tend to forget things.  It's usually a temporary memory lapse;  at dinner, can't remember the name of the host of The Apprentice, and then in the middle of the night, I shout, "Donald Trump!"  Of course, by that time, Mr. Eva has forgotten the original conversation, is sound asleep, and doesn't appreciate my sudden flash of brilliance at 2:00 a.m.

I read somewhere that if you forget where you put your car keys, it's not indicative of Alzheimer's.  It's when you find them and have no idea what they are for, that you are in trouble!  I've heard a lot about "brain fitness," lately, and since I figure I have a better shot a brain fitness than body fitness, I've started paying attention.  (Especially since it's unlikely I'll be giving up chocolate and training for a marathon any time soon!)

If you, too, are interested in brain fitness, you may want to check out 24 Blogs With Things You Can Do to Keep Your Brain Sharp As You Age, a post by Ken Myers of Myers Websites and Companies.  Ken contacted my by email and included a link to his blog post, suggesting that my readers might be interested in checking them out.  Usually I just delete soliciting emails, but since he wasn't looking for financial compensation and the subject hit close to home for me, I decided to pay him a visit.  

I found a wealth of fun and helpful information and decided it did warrant a shout out.  If you are looking for entertaining ways to exercise your gray matter, click here, or on the link above.  Let me know if you found it worth a visit!


By the way, all you young 'uns out there---your day is coming.  It's never too soon to start flexing for your future!!

EVA

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Silent Sunday

As a kid, I built houses of cards, but nothing like this:














Bryan Berg is a professional "cardstacker" who builds houses of cards on a very large scale.  Trained as an architect, Bryan Berg is the only known person to make a living building structures with freestanding playing cards.  He uses no tape, glue, or tricks, and his method has been tested to support 660 lbs. per square foot.

  In 2004, Guiness created a record category for 'World's Largest House of Freestanding Playing Cards' to recognize a project Berg built for Walt Disney World, a replica of Cinderella's Castle.  In 2010, the record was renewed by himself using 4051 sets of cards, over 218,000 cards, and built in 44 days, a replica of the Venetian Macao...


EVA