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Saturday, July 5, 2014

Weekend Silliness

How to Replace Mouse Balls
I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face.
This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness.
It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem.
The author of this memo was quite genuine.
The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences.


To whom this may concern
Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.
If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement.
Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.
Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse.
Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse.
Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method..
Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.
Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.
It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction.
Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.
Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

(Thank you, River, for that bit of tech humor!)

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You need to be able to remember the era to really enjoy this....


It was a hot, Saturday evening in the summer of 1962, and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell.  "Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said, as she welcomed Fred in.  "So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?"
"Oh, probably catch a movie and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop....maybe take a walk on the beach."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her.  "The TWIST, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother.  "THE DAMN DANCE IS CALLED THE TWIST!!!"
*(Thanks, fishducky, for that one!)

*****************************************************


Grandma's home health remedies



“For better digestion I drink beer, in the case of appetite loss I drink white wine,
in the case of low blood pressure I drink red wine, in the case of high blood pressure
I drink scotch, and when I have a cold I drink schnapps.”
“When do you drink water?”
“I’ve never been that sick!”
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Hope you're having a great weekend!

P.S.     Don't forget to pay a visit to Eddie Bluelights at Clouds and Silvery Linings for some fun weekend quotes!

EVA

10 comments:

Eddie Bluelights said...

Great Eva.
That poor mouse!!
What a ball he had!! . . .lol

Loved all three.
I've got a link onto this from my place ~ cheers ~ Eddie

Stephen Hayes said...

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer. Gosh there were some funny lines like this one in this memo. Thanks for the laughs and have a terrific weekend.

River said...

I'd forgotten about the mouse balls!

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari OM
Hhehehehehehhe definitely a theme of tossing and turning then drinking to obliterate the memory..... great fun as usual Eva!!! YAM xx

Eddie Bluelights said...

Gosh!
I admire that mouse's stamina . . . LOL

Keith Smith said...

I'm afraid that my mouses haven't got any balls, but they do have a pretty red light that shines out from underneath. Is this normal?

Eva Gallant said...

Eddie: Glad you enjoyed them and thanks for linking up!

Stephen: Glad I could give you a laugh or two!

River: Needless to say, I didn't!

Yamini: Thanks!

Keith: I know what you mean; I suspect my mouse has been neutered also!

Nancy Thompson said...

Hi Eva! I haven't been here for a very long time since I went on hiatus, but I saw your reviews for The Mistaken and Leverage today on Amazon and I just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I really, really appreciate it! Big (((HUGS)))!!!

Al Penwasser said...

I've always thought the same thing whenever I see a package of moth balls. Talk about a crummy job. Well, a man's gotta work, I suppose.
I just feel sorry for the legions of eunuch moths out there.

The Dose of Reality said...

Bwahahahahahaha! I love that mouse balls! And I REALLY wasn't expecting the "I've never been sick enough for drinking water" SO funny!! --Lisa