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Saturday, July 19, 2014

Weekend Silliness



   A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

         However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited: "I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss' wife, taken illegal drugs,and given VD to his sister.  I was appalled.  But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people…."

        Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and started his talk:  "I'll never forget the first day our Parish Priest arrived," said the politician.  "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession."

        Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late!

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Sex After Surgery

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one
Anne Maynard, sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband 
had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.

A hospital spokesman replied ... "Mr. Maynard was admitted in
Ophthalmology – all we did was correct his eyesight."

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Proof that Men Have Better Friends...



*Friendship among Women: *

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told
her husband  that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man
called his wife's 10 best  friends. None of them knew anything
about it.


*Friendship among Men: *

A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife
that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her
husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and
two said he was still  there.


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Today's chuckles are, once again, courtesy of fishducky!  

P.S.  Don't forget to stop by Clouds and Silvery Linings by Eddie Bluelights 
for some fun weekend quotes!

EVA

7 comments:

fishducky said...

I must have sent these a while ago--I don't even remember them!!

Eddie Bluelights said...

Very funny Eva and Fishducky ~ Eddie :)

Stephen Hayes said...

I love sharing these stories with my mom. Sometimes she laughs so hard her teeth fall out.

Merlesworld said...

I will show these to the beer fairy he will love them.
Merle...........

River said...

I love the redneck poem. it's very much like one of my favourite songs by Trini Lopez, from the 60s. Shame and Scandal in the family.

Al Penwasser said...

Plus, men can write their name in the snow.
I'm not sure what that has to do with anything but....

Pam Beers. said...

Love the story about the priest and the politician. I'm still laughing. What a fun blog!