Saturday, July 26, 2014

Weekend Silliness

Victoria's Secret

A  husband walks into Victoria 's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife.  
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the  more sheer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item,  pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go  upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.       

Upstairs the wife thinks ( she's no dummy ), 'I  have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500  refund for myself.'       
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!' 

He never heard the shot.  
Funeral  on Thursday at Noon.  Closed coffin.

(my sister Jenny sent me this one!)

An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, "I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway seeing you standing here in the hot sun." 

After a few seconds of thought, the driver said, "I know what we can do. I have a rope behind my seat. I'll tie one end of it to the rear end of my car and the other end to the front your bike. You ride your bike, and I'll give you this whistle. If I go too fast for you, just blow your whistle and I'll slow down."

The old guy agreed to it. So off he went down the highway with the old man and his bike in tow. 

A little ways down the rode, a young lady in a bright yellow corvette pulls up next to them. She gives the guy in the red Vette the High Sign, meaning "you want a drag?" Off they go down the highway, 100 plus MPH, the old man blowing his whistle like crazy. They zipped by a Highway Patrol cop sitting under a tree. 

The cop knew he couldn't catch them, so he called ahead to his fellow cop down the rode to intercept. "Car number 2, this is car number 1."

 "Go head number 1, what'cha got for me?"

" I got a red and yellow Vettes come down your way doing hundred plus, can you intercept?"

 "Ten-four, Is there anything else?"

 "Yeah, you wouldn't believe this, but there is an old guy riding a bicycle blowing his whistle trying to pass." 

(we can thank fishducky for that chuckle)


(cartoons are from J.W.)

 Have a great weekend!

P.S.  Don't forget to drop by Clouds and Silvery Linings for some fun quotes frin /Eddie Bluelights!



Stephen Hayes said...

I just shared that Victoria Secret joke with my mother and she laughed so hard I thought I was going to have to take her to the ER.

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Sheer brilliance.... YAM xx

fishducky said...

I love your Weekend Silliness posts!!

Merlesworld said...

Well that was my weekend chuckle, thank you.

River said...

Had a good laugh at the Victoria's Secret joke and the New Age/Old Age cartoon.

Eddie Bluelights said...

Eat you heart out Sir Bradley Wiggins . . . . lol