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Sunday, August 3, 2014

Weekend Silliness



Two little boys, Tom and Danny, are excessively mischievous. 
They are always getting into trouble and their Mom knows if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
 
The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
 
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
 
The mother sent Danny in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
 
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
 
"Do you know where God is, son?"
 
The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
 
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
 
"Where is God?!
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD?!"
 
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
 
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,
 
"What happened?"
 
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied,
 
"We are in BIG trouble this time!"
 
"GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!"

Thank you, J.W.
*****************************


Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, 'Titanic' and 'My Life' by Bill Clinton.
 


*
One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His  professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic: Cost - $29.99
Clinton : Cost - $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : Ditto for Bill

Titanic: During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton : Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton : Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton : Clinton doesn't remember anything.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing

Thank you C.V.
******************************

Hope you are all having a great weekend!
EVA
Don't forget to visit Clouds and Silvery Linings for some witty quotes!
P.S. I actually admire the Clinton's, but I just couldn't resist sharing this last one!

5 comments:

Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
Lost Gods and fallen idols.... all good fodder for funnies! YAM xx

Stephen Hayes said...

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary - basically the same thing.

Okay, that one got me! Ha1

Vicki @ Grams Made It said...

Both of these are hilarious. I especially enjoyed the Clinton story, even though I am also a fan.

River said...

Loved the book report!
As for that Priest-what a terrible thing to do to a small boy! although I dd get a chuckle from "God's missing and they think we did it!"

Susan Anderson said...

hahaha

That first one is great.

=)