Saturday, September 20, 2014

Weekend Wackiness!

Blonde Revenge

A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to  the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The blonde jumps up out of bed and says "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"

The blonde says "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how they like it!


Thank you, N.P. 

Lost and Found

      A little old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out, 

      Soon an assistant manager approaches and says, "Mam, the Crisco is 
 in aisle 3."  
      The woman replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff. I'm 
 calling my husband. He's in here somewhere." 
      The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?" 
      The woman answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that when we're 
out in public!"
      "I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?
      "Lard ass." 

Thanks, J.B.

It's a Miracle!

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." 

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" 

Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go." 

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple."

Thanks, fishducky!

Have a great weekend, everyone!



Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
LOL... thanks Eva! (Lovely post yesterday BTW - good to see the torch has been passed!) YAM xx

River said...

The blonde moving the dog has me shaking my head in disbelief. How can anyone be so dumb!

Stephen Hayes said...

Wow! I just received twelve posts from you. That's more reading than I can handle at once. I'll have to pour through these when I have more time. And you can bet I will!

Gail said...

You made my evening.

Thank you.

Merlesworld said...

I got 12 too, all at once this happens every now and again.

Eva Gallant said...

Yam: Thanks!

River: Oh, they're out there, believe me. I've met a few!

Stephen: Sorry you received 12 at once! I didn't publish 12 at one time...Blogger is doing strange things.

Gail: I'm so glad!

Merle: So this isn't the first time such a thing has occurred?

A Beer For The Shower said...

That Crisco one is great. If the wife called me in public what she does at home people would think we hated each other (we say it with love, I say!).

The Dose of Reality said...

BWAH HA HA HA!! Cracking up at the last one!-Ashley