Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Rest Home Christmsas--Author Unknown

T' was the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,                                                                                

And all of us seniors were looking our best.

Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;

Our punch bowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bed sock was taped to each walker, in hope

That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.

We surely were lucky to be there with friends,

Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmassy crafts,

Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.

The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,

And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bedpans, so shiny, all stood in a row,

Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.

Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --

Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,

Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.

The social director then had us play games,

Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,

Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.

Our resident wanderer was tied to her chair,

In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow

Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.

Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter

But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter.

A strange little fellow flew in through the door,

Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.

'Twas just our director, all togged out in red.

He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived

Our social security checks had arrived.

We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,

Till the clock tinkled out its soft eight p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds

While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.

And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.

'Fore long you'll be with us; we wish you the best.


Thought I'd share this poem with you, since this is my first Christmas in my 70's!



Yamini MacLean said...

Hari Om
I feel congrats are in order...then again...

(this rang so many bells [no pun intended] with me as I was a nurse in such an establishment; let me tell you, this ain't fiction!)

Merry Christmas Eva and Mr Eva... hope you have a wonderful day - pureed cake or not!!! Hugs, YAM xx

A Beer For The Shower said...

Social security checks and an 8 PM bedtime sound like a good time to me!

We wish both you and Mr. Eva a very Merry Christmas!

fishducky said...

Merry Christmas from 80 year old fishducky--who's no more senile than she was in her 20's!!

Rosemary Nickerson said...

Time marches on.... You are still young at heart, Eva, and that is what counts. Happy New Year to you and yours.

Bryan Jones said...

I'm still wrestling with the disturbing image of a wreath made out of dentures! A clever, very witty poem that is disturbing given the seams of reality running through it!

Merry Christmas and a prosperous 2015.

lotta joy said... just keeps getting better.

Dawn@Lighten Up! said...

Ha! Funny poem. Hope your Christmas was fab, Eva!

River said...

This is the best aging poem I've ever read. hope your Christmas was grand, since I'm late to the party here.